Privacy is empowering; keep these secrets between you and you’ll maintain control over your life and your money.
Job searching
Telling a coworker that you’re looking for a new job is a surefire way to lose your current one.
News travels fast and your manager will see you as someone who doesn’t care about the company, leaving you out of the running for raises, promotions, or prime projects. Keep your search private so you don’t endanger your current paycheck until you have another one secured.
Estate and wills
Spilling the beans on what valuable cash, assets, or possessions you’ll leave behind for others breeds jealousy and contempt long before your time comes.
Family members will treat you differently knowing exactly what (or how much) you’ll bestow on them and manipulative love will replace honest affection.
Allow yourself and your attorney to keep your last will and testament a secret so you can enjoy your current relationships without greed and unnecessary drama.
Password vault keys
Despite complete trust in your partner, granting access to your password manager means your digital life is no longer entirely private.
If someone gains entry to your password manager, they’ll be able to see everything you’ve stored, from passwords to private notes, financial records, and email accounts. Private information.
Even if you’d trust that person with your life, having your master password on another device still opens another door for hackers to get into your accounts.
Exit strategies
Discussing your plans to quietly leave an abusive partner or unsafe living situation with even a close mutual friend can endanger you.
Gossip spreads like wildfire and an off-hand remark can reach your partner sooner than you’d like them to know you’re leaving.
By keeping your emergency fund, new apartment rental applications and exit strategy secret, you are more likely to safely exit on your own terms.
Home security flaws
While it might feel like small talk to point out security vulnerabilities, broken locks, or where you hide a spare key to visitors, it actually makes your home less secure.
You never know who your reliable friends will share those details with and what their intentions may be. How you keep your home secure should only be discussed with those you share your home with.
Other people’s secrets
If your friend shares a very personal problem with you, sharing that story with your boyfriend/girlfriend or another friend ruins your character.
When you blab someone else’s private information, it signals to others that you’re prone to spreading gossip like it’s just lighthearted talk.
When you safeguard another’s private matters as if they were your own, you build a reputation as a solid, trustworthy individual.
Your current account balance
Sharing your exact account balance or net worth changes the way friends and family perceive you and your intentions.
If you’re well off, suddenly everyone needs you to pay for dinner, lend them money with no interest, or bail them out of debt. If you’re low on funds, everyone gawks at you with pity or judgment.
The less you say about your total funds, the healthier your relationships will be.
In-law family friction
Your friend may provide a sympathetic ear when you tell them how much you can’t stand your in-laws. But the grudge they hold against that relative will probably stick around for a lot longer than your own anger.
Let the fight stay between you and your family, because once it’s out in the open with your friend, there’s no taking it back without your significant other knowing.
Unlaunched business ideas
Talking about your million-dollar idea with friends before making it a reality gives someone else the chance to steal it.
Sure, you can run back to your friends for advice on how to execute your vision once you’ve started. But if you publicize your innovative idea too early, competitors with deeper pockets will have the infrastructure created by the time you’re ready.
Keep quiet until you have a solid plan, and you won’t lose your competitive advantage.
Your kids’ failures
If your son or daughter tells you about an embarrassing failure, private struggle, or heart-wrenching mistake they made, sharing that information with the entire family or Facebook will destroy their trust in you.
Kids who learn that their parents love to tell others about their problems will hesitate to come to you when they need advice as teenagers and young adults.
Give your children the gift of privacy, and they’ll never hesitate to trust you.
Pending medical test results
Did you receive an inconclusive report from your doctor? Tell people about your health scare before you have a confirmed diagnosis, and you can expect loads of unwanted opinions, sympathy, and panic from your friends and family.
Dealing with everyone else’s emotions about your potential illness distracts you from your doctor’s appointments and recovery. Wait until you have a clear answer.
Gifts of monetary assistance
It’s a shame when you boast about helping someone financially, as it turns a kind gesture into their embarrassment.
A sense of dignity should be preserved when you’re extending financial help to someone without expectation of repayment.
If your goal is to flaunt your generosity, then don’t use others’ lack of it as your backdrop.
Deep personal traumas
While it’s good to be open about mental health, sharing deeply personal, unresolved traumas with people you don’t know well can open the door to criticism and boundary violations.
Someone who doesn’t deeply love and respect you will weaponize your inner struggles during disagreements or times of competition at work. So your healing process is best kept confidential within your therapy sessions.
Secrets (of yours)
The second you share that genius loophole you discovered at work/police station/daycare, it’s yours no more.
Once it’s out there, everyone will pick it up, and your boss or whoever’s in charge will quickly close the loophole. If you want a loophole to work, keep it to yourself.
Deepest personal regrets
Revealing your deepest regrets or darkest secrets from your past to the entire world means you’re tethered to them.
And if you keep telling everyone about your past screwups, others will remember you by your past mistakes instead of your present self.
By holding your regrets close to your chest, you allow yourself to grow from them without having to explain yourself.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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10 things I’d never tell my younger self to prioritize
If I were granted a moment with my younger self, I would not tell them to focus on goals or to strive for achievement. I would say, “Listen kid, don’t waste your time on these 10 things.”
