11 Names You’d Use for Newborns If You Wanted to Ruin Their Lives (BUT Maintain Plausible Deniability About Having Done It on Purpose)

portrait serious stern baby. Angry.

When it comes to naming newborns, most parents aim for names that will set their children up for success and happiness. However, some user comments from a social media thread have sparked a rather hilarious discussion about names that could potentially make life a bit more challenging for these kids. While these names may not be intentionally chosen to ruin lives, the commenters have some entertainingly unconventional ideas to share.

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#1 Summer Eve

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“I went to school with a girl named Summer Eve, which is a douche.”

User comments suggest that naming your child “Summer Eve” might not be the best idea. While it might sound lovely at first, the association with a certain hygiene product might lead to some awkward moments down the line.

#2 Macaroni

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“Macaroni. Mac for short, even on their birth certificate. They always go by Mac; no one would ever call them Macaroni, only me and in private. Most people will assume Mac is short for Mackenzie, but Macaroni will know. Macaroni will know every second of every day. It will burn deep down inside. This is how I will create a supervillain.”

Imagine naming your child “Macaroni” and insisting that everyone calls them “Mac.” While most people might assume it’s short for something else, the commenters playfully suggest that deep down, Macaroni will always know the truth.

#3 Petal, Honey, Bunny, etc.

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“Petal, Honey or Bunny. They sound like cute names for a little girl at first, except that it’s rather hard to be taken seriously years down the line when you’re a full-grown adult and trying to address a boardroom of important people, and your name is something like “Petal Rose”, “Honey Little” or “Bunny Walker”, making you sound like a character straight out of a Beatrix Potter novel or a Sylvanian Families toy.”

#4 P**n

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“Name it “P**n”. In Thai language, it is a common name that shows up often. It means getting a good blessing.”

While it may sound eyebrow-raising in English-speaking countries, some users find humor in the dual meaning of the name in Thai. Could “P**n” be the name that surprises and delights?

#5 Otto Graph

Cute 6 years old boy looking through the window.
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“Knew a guy named Otto Graph. That was just weird.”

It’s safe to say that growing up with a name that sounds like a play on words can lead to some interesting conversations and memorable moments.

#6 Dyck

Schoolboy with books and backpack
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“The last name “Dyck” is very common in the area I live in. When I moved here in grade 8, there was an announcement over the school’s PA for a “Harry Dyck” to report to the office.”

The hilarity ensues with the name “Harry Dyck” due to the whimsical phonetic resemblance between the last name “Dyck” and a slang term for male anatomy. “Harry,” a rather ordinary first name, takes on a whole new level of comedic charm when paired with “Dyck,” creating a wordplay that tickles the funny bone.

#7 Ptoughneigh

Generations misunderstanding. Sad little boy looking at camera with crossed hands, angry father with laptop yelling at him in background, free space
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“Tony spelled Ptoughneigh”

Would you name your child “Tony” but insist on spelling it “Ptoughneigh”? Some users playfully suggest this twist on a familiar name, which would undoubtedly lead to a lifetime of correcting pronunciation and spelling.

#8 Eileen

Senior grey-haired woman wearing casual clothes and glasses skeptic and nervous, disapproving expression on face with crossed arms. negative person. Old. Angry / upset.
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“My granny is called Eileen. Little did my great grandparents know that she would contract childhood polio that left her with one leg longer than the other. I feel terrible for this, my granny is a Saint…but come on!”

Sometimes, a seemingly innocent name like “Eileen” can take an unexpected turn when life presents challenges. One user shares a heartfelt but humorous story of their grandmother, who overcame adversity despite her name’s unintentional connection to her condition.

#9 Gaylord

Handsome bearded tattooed young man standing with crossed arms
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“Gaylord. Yes, this is an actual name, and it makes me depressingly sigh to think of it again.”

As one commenter laments, “Gaylord” is indeed an actual name, but it can elicit a range of responses. It’s a reminder that a name can carry a significant impact throughout life.

#10 Syphilis

Lonely sad woman deep in thoughts
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“Syphilis. I had a friend who thought this was the most beautiful name, but he didn’t know it was an STD.”

The comment about finding “Syphilis” as a beautiful name brings forth a chuckle, but it also shines a light on the shocking lack of awareness that can sometimes surround certain names. In fact, there have been instances where people unintentionally named their children “Candida” or “Chlamydia”.

#11 D**k Trickle

The young handsome man suffering from insomnia at home. Not able to sleep. Tired because of rude neighbours.
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“My parents knew someone in university who called himself D**k (from Richard, of course). D**k’s last name was Trickle. My dad, in particular, can’t tell the story without laughing uncontrollably.”

The story of “D**k Trickle” serves as a humorous lesson in the importance of considering how a first name might interact with the family name. It’s a reminder that when selecting names for your child, it’s a good idea to ensure that the combination doesn’t unintentionally lead to funny or awkward twists that could potentially bring years of laughter.

Source: Reddit.

Apocalypse Now: The 11 Strangest End Times Predictions

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Throughout history, humanity has been fascinated by the concept of the apocalypse—the cataclysmic end of the world as we know it. Countless predictions, both ancient and modern, have foretold various scenarios for how this ultimate reckoning might occur. In this list, we delve into the realm of the bizarre and explore the ten strangest end times predictions that have left people alternately bewildered, amused, and even fearful.

Apocalypse Now: The 11 Strangest End Times Predictions

Top 10 Shadiest U.S. Political Scandals: From Affairs to Cover-Ups

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In this list, we’ll delve into the top 10 shadiest political scandals that have rocked the American political landscape in recent history. These scandals, rife with intrigue, betrayal, and secrecy, have left an indelible mark on the annals of political history. Here’s a glimpse into the darker side of politics, where reputations are tarnished, careers crumble, and the public is left to unravel the truth.

Top 10 Shadiest U.S. Political Scandals: From Affairs to Cover-Ups

10 Outdated Technologies People Would Bring Back In A Heartbeat. Would You?

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Have you ever felt a twinge of nostalgia for the old days when technology was simpler and more hands-on? Well, you’re not alone! In this article, we’ll explore the fond memories and insights shared by everyday people as they reflect on the technologies that once played a big part in their lives.

10 Outdated Technologies People Would Bring Back In A Heartbeat. Would You?

Biblical Conspiracies Exposed: 10 Divine Secrets People Discuss In Hushed Tones

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Intriguing and often controversial, the following list delves into real-life conspiracy theories and controversies related to the Bible and Christianity. While these theories have been discussed and debated by various individuals and groups, it’s important to emphasize that they exist within the realm of speculation and conjecture. Their validity lacks concrete evidence and mainstream acceptance, serving as a testament to the enduring fascination and debate surrounding biblical mysteries.”

Biblical Conspiracies Exposed: 10 Divine Secrets People Discuss In Hushed Tones

10 Astonishing And Absurd Stories Of People Canceling Their Wedding That You Wouldn’t Believe

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In the unpredictable world of romance, love stories often take unexpected twists and turns. While weddings are meant to mark the beginning of a lifelong journey together, some couples have decided to call it quits for reasons that are nothing short of absurd.

10 Astonishing And Absurd Stories Of People Canceling Their Wedding That You Wouldn’t Believe

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Hasanthi Kodituwakku