Being a dad is not an easy task. But a lot of men wouldn’t admit how hard it is. They don’t talk about the sleepless nights, constant worrying about the kid’s safety, drastic changes at home, and earning enough to secure the kid’s future. So here are 14 raw, honest secrets dads finally felt ready to share after 40.
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They felt jealous of the attention the baby got
When there was a new baby in the house, everyone’s focus was on him/her. No one was paying attention to the dad, except to ask him something related to the baby. Even though they knew it was selfish, they felt jealous of the baby.
They were afraid they’d damage the child
Many admitted they second-guessed every decision they made about their kid. Were they being too soft? Too tough? They were terrified that something they did or didn’t do could emotionally affect the kid.
They had no idea what they were doing, but acted like they did
Most dads confessed that they had to act like the strong ones, so they acted calm and confident. Deep inside, they were terrified and overwhelmed. Some even said they read parenting magazines or took advice from fellow dads on how to be dads.
Sometimes they wanted to run away, just for a day
Being a new dad was hard. They had to live with constant crying, sleepless nights, and a lot of stress. There were times when they just wanted to escape from all of it and go back to how life used to be before.
They pretended they were fine but they weren’t
Many dads confessed that they were scared and overwhelmed at first. They pretended all was fine and everything was under control. They didn’t even know how to explain that strange feeling of being a new dad.
Sometimes, they resented their partners
The baby changed everything at home. Their relationship with their partner took a backseat. They were constantly busy with the baby’s work and feeling exhausted. Sometimes it was just difficult not to resent their partner.
They zoned out during family time just to cope
Some dads confessed that there were times when they were only physically present but emotionally checked out. They would sit at the dinner table or through playtime, feeling numb and running on autopilot. They were so exhausted but didn’t know how to recharge.
They missed their old life more than they admitted
They did love being a dad, but sometimes missed their old life. Back then, there was no need to worry about finances, baby proofing, or nap-scheduling. They could sleep in or go on impromptu trips. They longed for that care-free life.
Sometimes they envied their single friends
Most dads felt jealous seeing or hearing about their single friends’ vacations or night-outs. Their friends were out having fun while they were at home changing diapers or trying to get the baby to stop crying.
They had no clue how to bond with a baby
Everyone keeps saying that there will be a magical connection. But they felt awkward and worried that they were doing something wrong. They wondered whether there was something wrong with them for not instinctively knowing how to bond.
They judged other dads constantly
It was easy to judge others. For example, at a park, they would observe other dads and rate them “He is doing too much,” or “he is neglecting the kid.” Deep down, they were scared about their own performance as a dad.
They sometimes used work as an escape
Working late at the office was an escape from the constant chaos at home. They resented the constant crying, messes, and tantrums. They told themselves and others they were working hard to provide for the family.
They let screens babysit more than they should have
It was easy to just give their phone or tablet to the kid and get some time for themselves. Deep down, they felt guilty for not really spending time with the kid and worried about the health effects of screen time.
They didn’t always like being a dad at first
Most admitted that being a dad felt hard and exhausting at first. It was exhausting and hard. They loved their kid but didn’t love every second of parenting. At first, they felt guilty, but later realized this was okay.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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