This 23-Year-old Girl Ruined Her Surprise Birthday Party

Sad girl with a cake on a white background, a boring celebration and a bad party. poor preparation for the holiday

Throwing a surprise party for a loved one can be a joyous occasion, but what happens when things don’t go according to plan?

This was the case for a family who recently celebrated the birthday of their oldest daughter, Zara, who is 23 years old. Zara is the oldest of 4 siblings and has been going through a difficult time.

The Situation

Her family wanted to do something special for her and decided to throw her a big surprise birthday party with her family. However, what was meant to be a happy occasion turned awkward when a seemingly innocuous incident occurred.

Zara enjoyed spending time with her family at the party, including her young nieces and nephews. When the birthday cake was brought out, the children were excited to stand up with Zara as she blew out the candles. However, things took an unexpected turn when Zara’s 5-year-old niece blew out most of the candles before she could do so herself.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

While everyone else laughed it off, Zara’s reaction was different. She looked angry and started crying before walking off. The sudden turn of events created an awkward atmosphere at the party for everyone.

Zara’s aunt, the niece’s mother, was upset and embarrassed as her daughter was only 5 years old and didn’t mean to ruin Zara’s birthday. She was also upset that Zara reacted so poorly to such an innocent act from a child.

Zara’s mother spoke to her daughter about her behavior and called her a “selfish brat” for making a scene about the candles. This left Zara still upset about the whole situation. In addition, Zara’s siblings now believe their mother is unfair to the birthday girl.

Sad girl with a cake on a white background, a boring celebration and a bad party. poor preparation for the holiday
Image Credit: andron19821982 /

Plea for Help

Zara’s mother is this situation’s original poster (OP) and requested advice from the Reddit forum. She believes that her daughter overreacted and was selfish at her birthday party. She says,

“I told my daughter she was being a brat after she made a scene when my 5-year-old niece blew out her birthday candles. I might’ve been too harsh on her and rude, which makes me the a**h*le.”

This may come as a surprise to many, but several users were quick to point out that the only ones at fault in this situation were the 5-year-old niece and her mother.

Over 19K users agreed with Gloomgore_’s comment,

“‘She didn’t think Zara would act like this’…So she knew her daughter was going to blow out the candles.”

MerelyWhelmed1 added,

“Also, her daughter “didn’t mean to do it.” Yes, she did. She meant to blow out someone else’s candles; it wasn’t an accident she inhaled, then exhaled at full volume toward a flaming dessert. And five is old enough to know if it isn’t your birthday/cake, then you don’t blow out the candles. The Aunt knew what her daughter would do.”

Suspiciouscupcake23 agrees that her 5-year-old kid knows better than to blow out candles at someone else’s birthday and ruin their special moment,

“My 5 yr old would NEVER. Because she knows better. My 3 yr old might, because he’s 3 … So my job is to remind him and hold him back if need be.”

In addition, many users felt it must be stifling to live in a family where your emotions and special moments are never given the respect they deserve.

MerelyWhelmed1 added to her previous comment and said,

“It must be exhausting to live in a family where even on your birthday, your feelings aren’t important, and they aren’t really celebrating you…because I’m betting, this isn’t the first time the eldest was dismissed. (Wanna bet she’s always had to set aside her feelings, first for her younger siblings, now for the nieces and nephews.).”

Scumbucket22 agrees and calls Zara’s family, her worst enemy, says,

“Just want to point out how stifling it must be to not be able to emote- sounds like Zara was simply upset and was called a brat for it….after a hard year. You know what they say- who needs enemies when your family will destroy you.”

She Deserved To Celebrate Her Birthday Her Way.

Countless users continued pointing out how Zara’s family had surprised her with a birthday party because they recognized that she had been struggling. Yet, they were dismissive of her feelings and called her a “selfish brat.” In this situation, Zara’s mother is at fault for not respecting her daughter’s emotions and letting other children take the joy out of blowing candles at a birthday party that was specially held for Zara.

It is important to remember that everyone’s emotions are valid, and we should try to understand and support each other during difficult times. The family could have used this opportunity to empathize with Zara and create a safe space for her to express her emotions. Instead, the situation became an argument, leaving Zara even more upset.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Was the OP from this social media post wrong?

Featured Image Credit: andron19821982 /

This article was originally published on Ash & Pri.

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.