A 25-year-old female, OP (original poster), and her 27-year-old male spouse have been married for two years. Upon getting married, they moved to a different city for the husband’s job as a software engineer in the tech industry.
She quickly found an entry-level position in publishing but soon realized she did not enjoy it due to office politics, long hours with low pay, and monotonous work. After a year and a half, she started looking for other job opportunities.
New Job Offer
Recently, she was offered a job as an executive assistant and felt it was an excellent fit for her. There was some scope for moving up into management after gaining experience as an assistant. The company was stable and growing, and the pay and benefits were much better than her current job.
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Difficult Decision
When the woman brought up her new job opportunity to her husband, he strongly disagreed with her decision. He felt that the job as an executive assistant was beneath them, and he would be embarrassed by her.
Despite these objections, the woman made the difficult decision to accept the job. She was miserable in her current position and felt that this was the best opportunity for her. Additionally, the new job offered better pay and benefits for fewer hours, which would ultimately benefit both her and her husband.
However, her husband was unhappy with her decision and has since distanced himself from her and says he thinks differently of her.
Now she is asking for Redditor’s help to answer whether she is wrong for taking a job without her husband’s approval.
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Redditor’s Thoughts
User bordennium was quick to chime in with a comment that was upvoted almost 8,000 times, saying,
“Man, your husband sounds ugly. You really want to settle for a partner who told you that he’ll be embarrassed by you for taking a job that’s a better fit? Come on girl, you deserve way better than that. Your spouse is supposed to be your #1 fan, not your biggest critic.”
User kzp17 added his disgust for the OP’s husband, saying,
“He only cares about how she looks to others, and if she makes him look good. He thinks “executive assistant” means “secretary” and that it’s a “less than” job. That’s it, that’s as far as his misogynistic AH brain can get.”
More support poured in from LimitlessMegan, commenting,
“he’d rather you stay in a job where you are unhappy, making less money, and being taken advantage of by your employer for the sake of his ego (he seriously told you this would ruin your “life plan” WTF) is information you should be taking seriously.
The other thing this makes me wonder is how does he treat the admins and VAs at his work place because you might be getting a job in marketing but he sounds like his attitude comes from Mad Men.”
Lost-and-Dumbfound mentioned their own experience as an executive assistant:
“My friend started as an EA and is now a product manager managing 6 people in the same company. NTA! Even if you stay an EA long term, it sounds like a good and stable job, which is what most people want.”
So Much Support
Overall, thousands of Redittor users supported the original poster’s decision to take the job, regardless of what her husband said. Many showed contempt for the husband’s views on secretarial jobs and women in general. There were also comments suggesting therapy for the couple.
The woman herself seemed to agree, offering some more thoughts on her husband’s mindset, saying,
“I think he liked being able to say that he had a wife who worked in “publishing,” because it sounds prestigious and impressive. But the work I was doing was very un-glamorous and was mostly admin work, and there wasn’t much of a path forward (my current company does not promote many entry-level people).”
What do you think about this situation? Do you also support the OP?
You can find the original thread here.
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