Being in a relationship needs to make you feel happy and loved, not frightened and bossed over. Sometimes, however, a partner goes too far and begins to dictate every single detail of your life. Usually, these signs don’t come to you as easily when you’re already very in love. A bossy partner usually ducks behind the fig leaves of “care” or “inquiry,” so the rotors are hard to detect. They may start with little demands but in time, they become big concerns affecting your freedom and happiness.
Here we are sharing 9 signs that your partner might be trying to manipulate you. By being aware of these symptoms in advance, you can stop the issue before it escalates.
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Excessive Monitoring
If your partner is constantly pinging you or asking you where you are, it can be oppressive. It’s as if they don’t believe you can make decisions or be alone. It is a behavior that can leave you feeling nervous and constantly on guard, like you are under surveillance. A relationship should be a partnership of trust, and when it doesn’t have that, it can become tense.
Isolation from Friends and Family
Having someone that wants to isolate you from your friends and family is a red flag. They will even say, “You don’t need them, you just need me,” which sounds lovely but is actually a lot of control. As the years go on, you can become isolated and distant from those you love. This is a lonely experience and will lead you to be more attached to your partner which is what they seek.
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Decision-Making Control
When your partner makes all the choices for you, you might find yourself losing control. That can be money, your career, or even dinner. But having someone else take the helm is tiresome. It could make you feel like you aren’t able to take your own decisions. You should be able to shape your own destiny and be empowered to make choices based on what you want.
Jealousy and Possessiveness
Intense jealousy can be a red flag during a relationship. This creates all the unnecessary drama if your partner becomes mad at you for talking to friends or family. They may accuse you of cheating on them for no good reason, and it might make you feel guilty for being just social. This is the sort of possessiveness that can give rise to arguments and the sense of being trapped.
Emotional Manipulation
If one resorts to guilt or tantrums to make their point, it’s a mess. You might walk on eggshells, trying not to offend. This deception can make you feel responsible for their feelings, which isn’t fair to you. Keep in mind, you don’t want to lose yourself for anyone else.
Criticism and Belittling
Negative comments can really tear your self-esteem away. If your partner is always reminding you of your shortcomings or ridiculing you for your choices, you feel like a failure. Perhaps you’ll become self-defeated and feel like you’re less than worthy. Everybody is capable of something — not everyone is made the same, and a partner who cares should celebrate you instead of tearing you down.
Controlling Financials
If your spouse manages your money, you are limited in your autonomy and power dynamic. They can set the limit on how much money you can spend, keep track of your bank accounts, or do all the accounting. Statements such as “I’ll pay the bills” or “You don’t need that, let’s budget,” can obscure their control need. You can feel cheated and a slave because of this financial mastery.
Threats of Consequences
If your partner is breaking up with you or being aggressive to get their way, that’s bad. This is very scary and frightening, and you feel trapped because of this. And you may end up doing whatever they ask you to keep the peace, and that’s not healthy. If you’re feeling under pressure, ask for help and consider your options.
Overreacting to Small Issues
If your partner reacts impulsively to minor issues, it is a sign of dominance. They’ll exaggerate little things just to throw you off-track. For instance, they might be frustrated by a trivial thing such as forgetting to empty the trash. The endless drama keeps you up at night and takes the emphasis away from their actions.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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