Hitting the big 30 is a huge milestone in many ways—especially with friendships. Gone are the days of putting up with just about anything in the name of keeping the peace. Instead, our time becomes more precious and so does our tolerance for nonsense. Here are 10 toxic friend behaviors that you’re totally justified in rejecting once you turn 30.
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Jealousy and Competitiveness
A little competition can be healthy, although your friend shouldn’t turn everything into a rivalry—it’s not fun anymore. Jealousy & competitiveness make celebrating your successes feel awkward and that’s the last thing you need. Friendships should involve lifting each other up instead of trying to outdo one another.
Manipulation
No one likes to feel like they’re being manipulated. If your friend is always trying to guilt-trip you into doing things or making you feel bad for your choices, they’re not playing fair. Friendships should involve mutual respect. Eventually, being around a manipulative person will make you feel drained and undervalued.
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Encouraging Harmful Behaviors
We all try to make better choices for ourselves when we age. As such, any friend who always encourages you to make bad decisions isn’t being helpful. It doesn’t matter if it’s overspending or overindulging—you need friends who have your back instead of the ones who lead you astray. This behavior may seriously cause problems for your other relationships & life goals.
Making Everything About Them
Every conversation you have with someone shouldn’t feel like a monologue. Why? Because it’s self-centered! It leaves you feeling like your thoughts and feelings don’t matter, even though everyone deserves to have their voice heard. You’re entitled to share your experiences within your friendship, too.
Disrespecting Your Partner or Family
Our family & significant others also become more important when we age so any friends that disrespect them are being rude. It’s also a direct attack on your personal life. Friends should respect your choices and the people you care about, even if they don’t always agree with you. Such a lack of respect creates tension that forces you to choose between your loved ones and your friend.
Flaking on Financial Commitments
Whether it’s splitting a dinner bill or paying back a small loan, a friend who consistently dodges financial commitments doesn’t care about you. Money issues hurt any relationship—friendships are no different. It’s important to have friends who are upfront and fair about their finances so you can avoid any awkwardness.
Always Playing the Victim
Does your friend always blame other people? Being around someone who can’t own up to their mistakes is exhausting and especially when they’re the victim in every situation. Accountability is the name of the game! Constantly playing the victim stops your friend from growing and learning from their mistakes. It also burdens you to constantly reassure or forgive them.
Holding Grudges Over Small Issues
We all mess up sometimes but holding onto grudges over minor issues is a sign of immaturity that’ll make the friendship feel like walking on eggshells. Forgiveness & moving forward are important for any lasting friendship. Dwelling on past mistakes will stop your relationship from growing—and prevent you from enjoying the present.
Giving Unsolicited Advice Constantly
Advice can be helpful—but not when it’s unsolicited & constant. Friends should trust that you know what’s best for you and only give advice when asked. They need to understand the difference between being supportive & respecting each other’s ability to figure things out. Adult friendships shouldn’t feel like a parent-child relationship.
Not Celebrating Your Successes
Your big wins deserve to be celebrated with your nearest & dearest—so when a friend minimizes your achievements, that’s a red flag. Anytime that they meet your accomplishments with indifference or jealousy, it casts a shadow over your achievements. Be around people who make you happy!
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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