There’s never a good enough excuse for someone to manipulate you. Unfortunately, it’s easy for someone to do it to you—especially when you love to help. That doesn’t make it okay! Let’s look at thirteen ways someone might be manipulating you without you realizing it.
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Constantly Picking Up the Slack
You might feel good about always staying late to finish up a project or covering for someone else’s tasks. Of course it’s great to be reliable—yet you should ask yourself why you’re always the person doing extra work without getting any thanks. Your relationship needs to have balance.
Your Requests Are Always the Last Priority
It’s frustrating whenever you need a favor everyone’s too busy. But when the shoe’s on the other foot, they expect you to jump to it. People who always put your needs at the bottom of the pile are those who take your kindness for granted. Remember—your time & needs are as important as anyone else’s.
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Feeling Drained Rather Than Energized
Do you ever feel drained after hanging out with certain people? That’s not normal. Healthy relationships and work environments should make you feel energized instead of exhausted. Any relationships that don’t make you feel good are ones that you should seriously take a closer look at.
Guilt-Tripping
You should never be made to feel guilty for setting boundaries—if that happens, then it’s a red flag. For example, you might hear someone say things like, “After all I’ve done for you” or “I thought you were my friend.” It’s not cool. In fact, it’s often a form of manipulation to make you do more than you’re comfortable with.
Lack of Reciprocity
You shouldn’t always be the one giving something like your time—or your Netflix password! Of course, that doesn’t mean you should be selfish. Simply remember that not getting anything in return all the time could mean it’s time to reassess. Relationships are a two-way street.
Your Ideas Are Ignored Until Someone Else Suggests Them
This one hurts a lot and especially at work. You pitch an idea and you’re talking to the wall—but when someone else says the same thing a week later, it’s suddenly the best thing ever. It’s quite frustrating. Worse than that, it’s a sign that they’re not valuing your contributions the way that they should be.
Constantly Justifying Your Worth
Feeling like you have to prove why you deserve to be treated with respect is a huge issue. You shouldn’t have to earn fair treatment or recognition! In fact, these should be a right. Always being on defense is as exhausting as it sounds and could suggest that you’re being taken advantage of.
Unilateral Decision Making
There’s no reason to justify why you’d be left out of the loop on decisions that directly affect you. It’s your life—so why aren’t you being included in the decision-making process? When that happens, it’s a strong sign that your colleagues or your loved ones aren’t valuing your input like they should be.
Always Apologizing
Are you saying “sorry” all the time, even when you’re not sure what you’re apologizing for? That’s probably because the people around you are pushing you into a corner. Making you feel like you’re always in the wrong is a tactic so that they can keep you subdued & compliant. It’s not fair to you.
Unreciprocated Personal Investment
Being the person who’s always bending over backward & making sacrifices hurts. And it’s even worse when you constantly go the extra mile without seeing the same effort in return. It doesn’t matter if it’s emotional labor or just being there—the investment should be mutual. If not, then you might be an easy target for them to take advantage of you.
Frequent Criticism Without Constructive Feedback
Getting criticized left and right without any pointers on how to improve is rather demoralizing. Beyond that, it’s a way to keep you feeling unsure of yourself. Constructive feedback should help you grow—but constant negativity without support? That could be someone using criticism to keep you down.
Your Time Is Not Respected
Time is precious and that’s why if people always assume you’ll drop everything for them and show up at the last minute, they probably don’t care about you. They might even expect you to stay later than everyone else without considering your plans. Everyone’s time deserves to be respected—including yours.
Being Overlooked for Opportunities or Rewards
Finally, if you’re putting in the work but not seeing any of the benefits—like being passed over for promotions—then it’s very likely your boss is exploiting your efforts. It’s important to recognize everyone’s efforts, big or small. As such, not getting this could be a sign that something’s off.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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