Should I Date My Wife? A Cultish Love Story

Couple romantically smiling.

In a world where love stories come in all shapes and sizes, one social media post has captured the attention of thousands, raising questions about the complexities of relationships and the blurred lines of matrimony.

The original poster (OP), a 25-year-old male, found himself entangled in a web of confusion and desire as he navigated the unconventional dynamics of his so-called “marriage”.

A Transactional Marriage

The story begins with the disclosure that OP and his “wife,” both raised within the confines of a religious cult, embarked on a peculiar path to matrimony.

In this cult, marriage approval was granted through a financial transaction with the girl’s father.

As friends, OP, then only 19 years old, stepped in to prevent his wife’s forced union with another man by purchasing her hand.

Although they lived together and shared responsibilities, their marriage was nothing more than a facade, allowing them to pursue their dreams outside the cult’s influence. They frequently dated other people as well.

However, a recent visit to their hometown and a series of unexpected encounters brought forth a new dynamic in their relationship.

One Sided Love

During their trip, they engaged in physical intimacy after a night of partying, leaving OP puzzled by the sudden shift in their interactions.

Soon after, when OP expressed an interest in dating another woman, his “wife” exhibited jealousy and made attempts to sabotage OP’s potential dates.

Meanwhile, when OP tried to talk about divorce, his wife asked to discuss it at some other time but that time never arrived.

OP believes that his so-called wife is a good person and they have a great chemistry as friends and housemates. He also confessed to having developed feelings for her since the intimate encounter.

Confused, he turned to the online community to ask whether he should pursue a romantic relationship with his ‘wife’, and whether they should get divorced first.

Love in the Shadows

The online community had plenty to say about this perplexing situation.

One user, Maze_C, astutely pointed out that OP’s wife might be longing for a transition from a married couple to a romantic partnership.

This sentiment was echoed by amireadii, who amusingly remarked on the irony of OP’s confusion while both OP and his wife were developing mutual feelings for each other.

Bonnm42 advised OP to be honest and have a heartfelt conversation with his wife, openly expressing his growing romantic feelings and inquiring about hers.

The user acknowledged the unique position they found themselves in, but suggested that their fake marriage could potentially serve as a stepping stone towards a genuine romantic connection.

“It sounds like she likes you. Why not just be honest? “I have started to have romantic feelings for you. Do you feel the same about me?” I mean, you are married so you already got a “foot in the door” so to speak.”

Another user, Daddy_boy_no2, dismissed the technicality of their “marriage” and emphasized that their emotional connection was what truly mattered.

They encouraged OP to pursue a relationship with his wife without the need for a divorce or a formal separation.

“She’s into you. And it sounds like you’re into her as well. Just date her. The fact that you’re technically “married” isn’t relevant.”

Saxonjf, however, delved into the intricacies of their past and offered a more comprehensive approach.

The user advised the couple to confront the bizarre circumstances that brought them together and openly discuss their true feelings.

Saxonjf even proposed the idea of a fresh start, suggesting that the couple formally marry outside the boundaries of the cult, forgiving the financial obligation that previously bound them.

Lastly, one user, Apprehensive-Bee-474, advised OP to embrace the desire expressed by his wife and embark on a romantic journey with her.

“Date your wife, dude. She wants to.”

Finally, Sadatori and many other users suggested that both OP and his wife consult a therapist to get over the deep emotional damage and co-dependence that has likely taken root from growing up in a cult.

“Well, they clearly need intense therapy lol. On the surface this is cute and funny, but just beneath there is a deeply unsettling story of growing up in an abusive religious cult and having to take out a loan to save her life. Therapy AND dating sound like a good starting point.”

The Verdict

As we look at these perspectives, it becomes evident that love knows no boundaries and can manifest in unexpected ways.

OP’s journey is a testament to the resilience of human connection, as two individuals emerged from the confines of an oppressive cult and forged a unique bond.

It is essential for OP to approach this delicate situation with honesty, vulnerability, and empathy.

By engaging in an open dialogue and therapy, they can navigate the complexities of their relationship, discussing their shared feelings and aspirations for the future.

The cult’s influence may have shaped their past, but it does not dictate their future.

OP’s journey, intertwined with the suggestions of social media users, highlights the importance of understanding one’s emotions, no matter how unconventional they may be.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Was the OP of this social media post wrong for catching feelings?

Featured Image Credit: AlexLipa /

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.