In Sickness and in Health – A Husband’s Selfish Reaction to His Wife’s Surgery

Woman suffering from stress or a headache grimacing in pain as she holds the back of her neck with her other hand to her temple, with copyspace

In a heartfelt post, a woman who is 37 years old poured her heart out about her husband’s negative reaction to her upcoming surgery.

The original poster (OP) needed surgery to repair nerve and artery damage in her arm, preventing potential loss of full functionality.

Despite their 15-year-long relationship, complete with a home and children, OP found herself facing her husband’s unexpected anger instead of the support she desperately needed. He was completely against her going for the surgery.

The Angry Husband

OP explained that her husband’s anger didn’t stem from financial concerns, since OP will be using public healthcare.

OP also shared that the resistance to surgery by her husband is also not out of fear for OP’s well-being.

Instead, his frustration originated from the inconvenience the surgery would cause to their joint responsibilities, including their shared ownership of a company and the care of their school-aged children.

OP’s husband expressed his dissatisfaction by stomping around, slamming doors, and refusing to engage in any discussion about the surgery.

OP was overwhelmed by stress, contemplating the idea of foregoing the surgery altogether, even though it meant she would eventually lose the use of her arm.

Seeking advice from the online community, OP presented her dilemma, questioning whether she should be more understanding of her husband’s stress or hold him accountable for his lack of support.

Husband Or Man-Child?

Responding to her plea, social media users shared their insights and viewpoints.

The majority empathized with OP and called out the behavior of OP’s husband as disrespecting and selfish.

One user, tossout7878, conveyed concerns about the husband’s behavior, urging OP to pay attention to the potential implications for their future together.

The user also raised some serious questions about the possibilities in OP’s life ahead, stating,

“Imagine how this man who’s committed to you will treat you if you get REALLY sick? When you get old? When you need his support much more than this? Will this guy stick around for all that?”

This perspective encouraged OP to consider the long-term consequences of her husband’s actions and make decisions accordingly.

Another user, ttreehouse, shared her personal experience with battling breast cancer, expressing how her husband had stepped up during her extensive treatment and recovery process that lasted over a year.

About OP’s case, the user had the following to say,

“Your husband’s behavior is unacceptable and disproportionate to the level of disruption a single surgery creates.”

On a more assertive note, commenter AffectionateBite3827 used humor to drive home a powerful message.

“Tell him you need both arms because you want to be able to flip him off as you toss him divorce papers with the other hand. I guess y’all wrote your own vows that omitted ‘in sickness and in health’.”

Although laced with sarcasm, the comment underscored the importance of mutual support and highlighted the husband’s failure to uphold his commitment.

RO489 also acknowledged the husband’s selfishness and advised OP not to delay the surgery.

The user suggested seeking as much outside help as possible, whether through professional services or support from friends and family, to mitigate the additional burden caused by the husband’s refusal to pick up the slack.

This practical advice aimed to empower OP to prioritize her well-being and take measures to protect herself financially in case of future uncertainties.

In a similar vein, Themojita focused on the husband’s lack of empathy, questioning his behavior during significant events such as childbirth and previous instances of illness.

The user suggested involving the husband in pre and post-operative appointments, allowing him to hear directly from the healthcare provider about the severity of the situation.

Lastly, Rob58PA, in a straightforward manner, described the husband as immature, selfish, and deserving of receiving divorce papers.

While presenting a rather drastic perspective, this comment echoed the sentiment that OP deserved better treatment and support from her partner.

The Verdict

In a nutshell, OP’s heartfelt post on social media shed light on a distressing situation wherein her husband’s reaction to her upcoming surgery was far from supportive.

The online community responded with a range of opinions majorly urging OP to evaluate the husband’s commitment.

They also highlighted the importance of support in challenging times and advised her to prioritize her well-being.

Ultimately, it is up to OP to assess the situation and make decisions that align with her needs and expectations in a committed relationship.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Does the OP of this social media post have unreasonable expectations?

Featured Image Credit: racorn /

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

Like our content? Be sure to follow us.

DISCLOSURE: The post may contain affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase using these links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. You can read our affiliate disclosure in our privacy policy. This site is not intending to provide financial advice. This is for entertainment only.

Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.