Everyone has experienced that awkward moment when someone asks something way too personal and it’s surprising how often people don’t realize their questions cross boundaries. However, just remember that you don’t have to respond to these intrusive questions—it’s perfectly okay to set your own limits and refuse to answer them. To help you understand which ones to avoid, here are sixteen rude and obnoxious questions you don’t have to answer for anyone. These are topics better left alone unless you choose to share.
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“So, why aren’t you married yet?”
The question “So, why aren’t you married yet?” pops up more often than you’d think and it’s a rather nosy question because not everyone wants to get married—and that’s totally fine. People have different priorities and maybe they’re focusing on their career or enjoying their independence. Whatever the reason, asking such a personal question puts someone on the spot about their private life and it’s fine not to answer.
“When are you going to have kids?”
Likewise, “When are you going to have kids?” is another classic question that makes people feel uncomfortable because having children is a personal decision—not everyone wants or is able to have kids. There could be health issues or financial concerns stopping them from doing so, or perhaps it’s simply because they don’t want to become parents. Bringing up such a sensitive topic could make someone feel uncomfortable and they might not want to talk about it.
“How much do you make?”
Asking about someone’s finances is a big no-no and that’s why you should never answer the question, “How much do you make?” Most people like to keep their earnings private and for good reasons, as talking about your salary could create awkwardness & jealousy. It may even lead to tension among friends and family, so it’s best to ignore this question and avoid sharing the details of your paycheck.
“How did you manage to afford that?”
“How did you manage to afford that?” is a similarly intrusive question about your finances and it really doesn’t matter whether you saved up or simply found a great deal. It’s nobody else’s concern how you managed to buy something expensive and you’re entitled to choose not to answer any questions about it. Your financial matters are completely personal, so that means you have every right to keep them private if you so wish.
“Have you lost/gained weight?”
Bringing up someone’s weight is incredibly personal and is often quite hurtful—never feel like you need to give an answer when someone asks, “Have you lost/gained weight?” Your weight changes for all sorts of reasons, including health issues & life changes, and pointing it out might make someone feel self-conscious. You never have to answer any questions that are about your appearance.
“When are you going to get a “real” job?”
The question “When are you going to get a “real” job?” undermines someone’s hard work & choices because not everyone follows the traditional 9-to-5 path and that’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t matter if you’re freelancing or starting a business—it’s your career and your decisions to make about it. Someone who suggests that your job isn’t “real” is someone you should stay away from, since they’re being rather insulting & dismissive of your efforts.
“Are you pregnant?”
Many people think asking, “Are you pregnant?” is okay but it absolutely isn’t—it creates all manner of awkward moments if the person is wrong. People shouldn’t judge whether you’re with child or not simply based on your appearance, regardless of whether they’re using signs of weight gain as evidence of this. Your clothing choices and any health conditions could change how you look, so don’t feel like you need to answer this question.
“What’s wrong with your skin?”
Acne & eczema are common skin conditions and if you’re dealing with them, you should remember that these are your personal business, so you don’t have to answer the question “What’s wrong with your skin?” You might already be seeing a dermatologist or trying out remedies on your own—either way, when someone points it out, it’ll make you feel self-conscious. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your skin and it’s perfectly fine to say you’d rather not talk about it.
“How old are you?”
Age is often a sensitive topic and you don’t need to reveal yours if you don’t want to, regardless of how many times someone might ask you, “How old are you?” You could be younger and worried you won’t be taken seriously, or perhaps you’re older & don’t want to deal with stereotypes. It’s your prerogative to keep your information private, so if someone asks about your age and you’re not comfortable sharing, you may politely decline.
“Why don’t you smile more?”
“Why don’t you smile more?” is a ridiculous question because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to smile and there’s nothing wrong with that, whether that’s because you’re deep in thought or feeling tired. You might even simply feel like expressing yourself in your own way. Being told to smile is as annoying as it is intrusive and if someone brings it up, you don’t have to force a grin or explain why you’re not beaming.
“Is that your natural hair color?”
It’s entirely your choice if you’ve dyed your hair for fun, to cover grays, or to express your style, so don’t feel obligated to answer the question, “Is that your natural hair color?” You may not feel like discussing your hair decisions & the reasons behind them because it’s your hair and you’re entitled to keep that to yourself. Who cares what you’ve chosen to do to it?
“Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”
Making comparisons to a sibling stings because you have your own unique qualities & path in life, so when someone asks, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” it often brings up feelings of inadequacy. You don’t need to engage with the comparison, nor do you need to explain yourself, as you’re your own person. That’s something to be proud of on its own, regardless of what other people might tell you.
“Are you sure you should be eating that?”
Your food choices are your own and you could be treating yourself to something special, following a particular diet—or perhaps just eating what you enjoy. Whatever the reason, asking the question “Are you sure you should be eating that?” comes off as rather judgmental and you should remember that you don’t have to justify your meal to anyone. It’s okay to continue enjoying your food without explaining what’s on your plate—it’s your plate, after all.
“Why do you look so tired?”
There might be all kinds of reasons why you might look tired, such as stress or lack of sleep—perhaps even some personal issues you’d rather keep private. Being asked “Why do you look so tired?” is likely to make you feel self-conscious and if someone asks, remember that you don’t have to share any details. It’s perfectly fine to simply acknowledge the comment and then steer the conversation elsewhere so that you both feel comfortable.
“Why don’t you just get over it?”
Dealing with emotions takes time and everyone processes things differently, so anyone coping with any emotional challenge should be aware that they don’t need to justify their feelings. You don’t even have to talk about the time it takes to heal when someone asks you something like, “Why don’t you just get over it?” Don’t accept their pressure and, instead, simply let them know you’d prefer not to discuss what you’re going through without any reason to justify this.
“Why didn’t you invite me?”
The question, “Why didn’t you invite me?” is possibly one of the most uncomfortable ones that someone could ask you, especially since there are many reasons why someone might not get an invitation. For example, perhaps there’s limited space & specific guest lists or last-minute plans—whatever the reason, you don’t have to provide an explanation that could make you feel awkward. Just maintain your boundaries without feeling guilty or pressured to justify your choices because they’re yours to make.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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