I saw this firsthand with my niece during her school’s talent show. She did a rushed, untrained dance routine and got the same medal as children who had trained and prepared for weeks. She was excited at first, but then, at her school spelling bee, she got mad when she didn’t get anything just for competing. This kind of experience, however good-hearted, can inevitably damage children’s resilience and motivation to work harder.
In this article, I will share with you 10 signs that participation trophies and reduced standards are making kids weaker.
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Effort Doesn’t Seem to Matter
If all are given the same reward, this could give the impression that effort doesn’t matter. Kids will feel, “Why would I need to try so hard if I’m just going to win a trophy anyway?” This makes kids less than 100% in school, sports, and/or extracurricular activities. This – in time – might reduce their commitment to working hard for it.
Unprepared for the Real World
Life doesn’t give participation prizes. Real-life rewards those who work hard for something. If the kids are raised to believe that they will be given rewards regardless, they will have difficulty accepting that the real world does not work like that. (They might feel frustrated or give up more easily.)
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Kids Don’t Learn How to Fail
The kids who get a trophy for showing up never learn how to fail. The lessons learned by failure are useful – such as how to work harder and better. And if children are rewarded no matter what, they will develop a fear of failing because they have never experienced it. This phobia keeps them from challenging themselves, whether in adulthood or otherwise.
Confidence Built on the Wrong Things
The kids can feel a sense of satisfaction because they got a trophy, but they also feel like they never deserved it. When real obstacles arise, later, their self-esteem may crumble as it isn’t based on actual achievement.
Expecting Rewards for Everything
When children are consistently rewarded, they will always expect praise and reward for doing nothing. They can be disappointed when they don’t get their way with this sense of entitlement. And children must understand that you get rewarded for working hard and winning, not merely taking part.
No Push to Be Better
Children might give up on becoming better if they know they’ll be rewarded anyway. For instance, if a child receives a trophy in every sport, they might not work on improving. This can result in them settling for less than their best.
Losing the Benefits of Competition
Healthy competition teaches children to strive, compete at the top, and be graceful in losing. If trophies are awarded to all, kids might be less likely to compete or perform better. This could mean that they are missing out on the life lessons competition can teach them.
Struggling with Criticism
If kids are constantly being told they’re doing well, then they might not understand how to respond to criticism. They might struggle whenever they get criticized at school, at work, or in relationships because they are unable to accept criticism and make use of it constructively.
Missed Chances to Grow Stronger
If children are constantly protected from difficult circumstances, they are not given opportunities to master problem-solving skills. This leaves them less capable of dealing with problems as adults.
Becoming Overly Dependent on Validation
If kids are always praised or rewarded without earning it, they might rely too much on others for approval. They could stop trying to motivate themselves and expect others to make them feel successful. For example, a child who always gets a trophy might feel unmotivated or upset when the praise stops. If this habit carries over into adulthood, they will struggle to be proud of what they’ve achieved without praise from others.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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