Being an introvert myself, I know it has its ups and downs. I have often been in situations where even the people closer to me often misunderstand why I act the way I do. Some people are just fine, but others ask me questions that make me feel awkward.
We are not rude or mean — we simply look at the world differently and replenish ourselves more silently. In this list, I’m going to share with you 10 things you should never ask introverts.
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“Why Are You So Quiet?”
This is probably the most recurring question introverts get, and it can be rather awkward. Remember that Introverts don’t always want to chat just to chat. We like to speak when we have something to say. When you ask introverts this question, it makes them think that being silent is a vice when actually it’s not.
“Are You Mad at Me?”
When we are not chatting much, people presume we are angry. Silence is our way of looking, or thinking or even just feeling comfortable. This question might also make introverts feel self-conscious about their natural state. It is tiring to keep getting this question, because we have to keep reassuring others they’re fine.
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“Why Don’t You Talk More?”
This is a question that requires them to talk in the interest of others and it’s exhausting. You shouldn’t push them to say more; you should just appreciate what they have to say when they do.
“Don’t You Get Bored Being Alone?”
Time alone is a secret Santa gift for introverts. They’re not avoiding other people — they’re just taking care of their own mental well-being.
“Are You Always Like This?”
This question would imply that introversion is an unstable state of mind, something to be overcome. This is the natural state of introverts. If you ask this over and over again, they start to think that they have to alter themselves in order to fit in, which isn’t right.
Why Don’t You Just Give Yourself a Shot?
People push introverts into burgeoning as if this isn’t enough. It is good to go beyond one’s comfort zone from time to time, but introverts don’t “act” for others. A show of respect for their space shows care and empathy.
“How Do You Make Friends?”
It’s a somewhat demeaning question to ask, as though introverts can’t build relationships. The truth is that we prefer intimate, deep relationships over a vast network. We are not partygoers, but we have true, long-lasting relationships.
“Why Don’t You Smile More?”
Introverts might not always roll their emotions up, but that doesn’t mean they’re sad. It’s a question that will make them want to act up in order to get attention. A smile should come naturally, not because someone expects it.
“Are You Shy or Just Anti-Social?”
Introversion is often mistaken for shyness or indifference, but it’s actually not the same thing. Introverts love to be social, it’s just they like it smaller and more personal. This question strikes me as an unjust question because it stigmatizes introverts as if their taste is something to worry about.
“Don’t You Want to Have Fun?”
Introverts love to have fun, but not everything they do will be fun for you. A relaxing evening with a book, a face-to-face conversation, or a walk in the country is, to them, as much fun as a loud party. By asking this, they can feel criticized for their choices.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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