When I decided to stop accepting these 9 forms of disrespect in my life, everything changed for the better. Here’s what I refused to accept anymore.
Stolen time
Time is something we can never get back. If someone is consistently 20 minutes or 30 minutes late (without running into traffic or some sort of delay), then they aren’t just irresponsible. They believe their time, comfort, and morning routine are more important than yours.
I refused to be that person who sits at the bar or restaurant table alone for 30 mins. I created what I call a 15-minute rule. If they aren’t there or call/text with a legitimate time update, I move on. When you value your time, others will learn as well.
Poisoned jokes
We all know that one person who thinks disguising insults as jokes makes them automatically acceptable. When someone says something hurtful about your weight, job, or past relationships, and doesn’t apologize because you’re too sensitive, that person is not your friend.
If you have to bite your tongue to keep someone happy, you are not living in peace. I refused to laugh off hurtful comments to avoid an awkward silence. Now I simply look them in the eye and remain silent.
Once you stop comforting childish bullies with superficial laughter, the joker loses their audience (and their power) really fast.
Cheap compliments
Did you know that backhanded compliments are actually insults coated in sugar? Once you take a bite, the sweetness fades, and you’re left with a sour aftertaste.
“Wow, you’re actually really smart for someone who didn’t go to college.” Statements like this are said to make you feel small, and for a minute, you do until you remind yourself that someone else’s opinion doesn’t define you.
I stopped accepting backhanded compliments under the excuse that they were just being kind. Instead, I acknowledged the insult out loud.
Try this: next time someone gives you a backhanded compliment, say, “That didn’t sound like a compliment. What did you mean by that?” Watch how quickly people stop complimenting you.
Being interrupted
Do you know people who speak over you in meetings or social gatherings? The ones who view your turn to speak as nothing more than a waiting room for their response?
They’ll cut you off mid-sentence to talk about themselves, redirect the conversation back to only involve themselves, or speak louder than you until you eventually give up and become quiet.
I decided my opinion was just as important as theirs. If someone interrupts me, I no longer pause my sentence. I either continue what I was saying (at the same or increased volume) or wait for them to finish and simply say, “As I was saying before I was interrupted…”
Hollow presence
There are people who only reach out when they are bored, lonely, or need something. They’ll disappear for three months, ignoring your life updates, only to pop back up with a “Hey! Long time!” because they need a favor or a distraction.
I stopped being a backup plan. I realized that if someone only values me when it’s convenient for them, they don’t value me at all.
I began investing my energy into all-weather friends, the ones who are there during the quiet Tuesdays, not just when they need a shoulder to cry on.
Emotional manipulation
If someone can’t deal with you saying “no,” they will manipulate you with guilt until you cave and agree to their terms. For example, if you say, “I’m tired and want to stay home tonight,” they reply with, “Fine, I guess I’ll just go by myself and have a horrible time.”
I stopped explaining my reasons for saying “no.” When you list out every single excuse you have for refusing their request, you give them fuel to work with.
Now I keep my boundaries simple (“No, I don’t want to go.”) and let them stew in their own sadness. How they react to your no is your tell-all on whether they respect you or not.
Public criticism
Criticism should never be played out on stage. If your boss, parent, friend, or partner feels the need to correct you in front of an audience, they have zero intentions of helping you better yourself. They want to see you crumble under their words.
My rule was this: I don’t discuss my shortcomings or problems when others are watching. If someone is trying to call me out publicly, I tell them, “We can discuss this one-on-one later,” and I walk away.
Selective memory
I quit enabling gaslighting or people’s convenient little game of suddenly forgetting things they promised to do or said that hurt me.
Manipulative people have this crafty way of disrespecting you by trying to make you think you are crazy or blowing things out of proportion.
If I have to keep receipts to feel sane about being in a relationship, then I’m definitely not in the right one. These days, I believe in what I see and hear, and don’t argue with people who use a poor memory as an excuse to avoid accountability.
Emotional dumping
I used to pride myself on being a great listener who knew everyone’s story. The issue? Nobody knew mine. Emotional vampires will use you as their personal therapist, and guilt you into listening to their problems when you actually need support.
I refused to be other people’s free therapist. Friendships should never be one-sided. If someone won’t share with you how you feel, then why do you willingly share with them?
I started having friendships that gave and took. My mental health has been better than ever since I refused to carry other people’s baggage for free.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
11 disrespectful things people do all the time that need to be stopped
Nobody’s perfect—and especially when we’re busy or distracted. But the little things we do (or don’t do) can come off as rude to others around us. Let’s talk about 11 common habits that might be bugging people around us more than we think.
11 Disrespectful Things People Do All The Time That Need To Be Stopped
