Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any relationship, especially when it comes to privacy. It’s natural not to even consider boundaries or privacy when it comes to your child. However, knowing where to draw the line can be tricky.
This post will delve into a real-life situation where a mother crossed a boundary and violated her daughter’s privacy, leading to uncomfortable consequences.
The Situation
In this case, a mother found herself in a difficult situation after her 23-year-old daughter brought her girlfriend home to stay with them for a few days.
It wasn’t the first time the mother had met her daughter’s girlfriend, but it was the first time the family realized the couple was serious about each other.
As the family had moved into a new home after the kids moved out, the daughter didn’t have her own room in the new place. Therefore, she and her girlfriend slept in a spare room that the mother often used as a workspace.
The morning after their arrival, the mother noticed that she had left her tablet’s stylus pen in their room and needed it to work. She decided to wait for them to wake up before retrieving it but ended up waiting for an hour without them stirring. Thinking they must be exhausted from a long flight, she quietly entered their room to get the pen and left just as quietly, without waking them up.
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Mother-Daughter Confrontation
Later, the daughter confronted her mother, saying she was uncomfortable with her entering their room without knocking. The daughter felt that her mother had invaded her privacy and was angry that she had entered their room uninvited. She demanded an apology and left home with her partner earlier than planned.
The mother, however, didn’t see what the big deal was. She argued that nothing terrible had happened and hadn’t seen anything inappropriate. She had only entered the room to get the stylus pen, which she did quickly and quietly.
The mother is the original poster (OP) of this situation and goes on to explain her daughter’s perspective,
“She was mad and said what if none of them were wearing something appropriate, and she insisted that this was an invasion of her privacy. I told her that was not the case. It really wasn’t. I didn’t even look, but I noticed they were only cuddling, and they were asleep, so nothing was inappropriate in that sense.
“My daughter left much earlier than planned and demands an apology before ever coming to visit again. I don’t think I did something crazy. It was just a second.”
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Plea for Help
Redditors quickly pointed out how OP was at fault and failed to consider her daughter’s privacy or feelings.
Justrelsstuff says, “I am guessing your history of dismissing her feelings is one reason she’s angry. And is probably why she now lives a long flight away.”
And then goes on to accuse the mother of lying, saying, “I doubt she even needed the stylus. OP clearly has a history of trampling her kid’s feelings.”
BeanBreak quickly jumped in to defend OP but still pointed out how she could have ensured that her daughter did not feel like the mother did not respect her privacy.
“I mean, it depends on what she does for work. I use a stylus for illustration/graphic design; finger doesn’t really work for that, ha. BUT I WOULD KNOCK.”
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The Best Advice
Hundreds of reviews continued to pin the blame on OP, either calling her insensitive or a liar for entering her daughter’s room and not apologizing.
However, Potential-Educator-6’s response is the best summary of our take on this situation.
“OP, this could have been such a nothing burger if only you’d just said, ‘Whoops, didn’t think about it that way; sorry honey, I’ll be more cognizant going forward’.”
Potential-Educator-6 goes on to explain why the daughter actually left earlier than planned.
“Your daughter didn’t leave early because you were in there for ‘just a second,’ but because when she told you she was uncomfortable with it, you dismissed her.
“You didn’t commit some grave unforgivable sin by running in to get your stylus— you didn’t know it would make your daughter uncomfortable (giving you the benefit of the doubt). Mistakes happen. It was after when you were informed that this made daughter uncomfortable, and you not only didn’t apologize but doubled down. I don’t think it’s a leap to think this might be a pattern your daughter has simply run out of patience for.
“You can fix this.”
Do You Agree?
It’s important to remember that even small actions, such as entering a room without knocking, can significantly impact a person’s sense of privacy and security.
Even though the mother thought she was being considerate by not waking them up, it still violated their privacy. The daughter’s anger and discomfort were understandable, and she had every right to demand an apology.
What are your thoughts on the situation? Let us know in the comments if you agree with Potential-Educator-6’s assessment of the situation.
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This article was originally published on Ash & Pri.