Breaking the Chains: A Daughter’s Journey Through Bigotry

A woman wearing cleaning gloves is holding up a tablet.

The world has come a long way in terms of gender equality, but for some, the shackles of the past remain tight.

One such person is the original poster (OP) of a social media post, where she details the impacts to her education, career, and relationships due to her family’s rigid adherence to gender roles.

OP was born into a family where gender roles were deeply ingrained in the culture and religion. OP’s parents believed that the man should work and provide for the family while the woman should stay home and care for the kids.

The family consists of three sons and one daughter, and the expectation was that OP would grow up to be a stay-at-home mom.

Unfortunately, this mindset was not only cultural but religious, so they raised OP to believe that women should not aspire to be anything more than homemakers.

However, OP had other aspirations. OP was a bright student and excelled in her studies, but her parents never valued her education or academic achievements. OP’s parents didn’t encourage her to pursue anything beyond domestic skills, which left her feeling lost and unfulfilled.

By the time OP was in high school, her two older brothers had gone to the college of their choice, with her parents fully covering tuition, books, an off-campus apartment, and other living expenses.

However, when OP expressed her desire to go to college, her parents forbade her from applying.

OP did not give up on her dreams. She applied to college in secret and was accepted with a partial scholarship. However, she had to work, take on debt, and struggle to make ends meet.

OP, now settled in her life, is also expecting a child. Her parents and OP barely spoke for years until they recently asked to meet her.

At the meetup, the parents felt sorry and expressed a desire to mend their relationship with OP. However, OP requested reimbursement for college expenses as a prerequisite.

The parents left without responding, and later, OP’s brothers accused her of immaturity and causing emotional harm.

Hollow Apology?

In their latest meeting, OP’s parents apologized for the pain they caused her and said they wanted to move forward.

However, when OP asked them to prove they were sorry by forwarding the $100k that covered her college expenses, just like they did for her brothers, they balked.

Her mother burst into tears, and her father dismissed her request.

Public Reaction

In response to the post, social media user HelenDamnnation commented,

“Never, ever poison children by allowing bigots in their presence. No exceptions. That includes your bigoted brothers.”

This comment suggests that OP’s parents and brothers are not fit to be around her child. It also implies that the bigoted behavior of her family has not changed, and they are only apologizing to be in their grandchild’s life.

Another user, Ayoc_Maiorce, commented,

“They aren’t sorry for how they treated OP, they just want to be able to have access to their grandkid.”

This comment echoes the sentiment of the first commenter, indicating that the parents’ apology may not be genuine. The user implies that OP’s parents’ behavior remains unchanged and that they only want access to their grandchild.

Bzzybee07 commented,

“Agree with everything being said here, but I want to add that OP should also require a real apology. Not an ‘I’m sorry you feel…,’ but a true heartfelt apology that actually acknowledges what they did wrong.”

Similarly, BitchInBoots66 commented,

“Your parents are toxic, and it sounds like they simply apologized to be a part of their grandchild’s life, which is not in your child’s best interests.”

Another commenter, No12chere, added,

“I think they expect the grandkid to be a boy. They don’t want to miss that opportunity. Sorry. Good for you for taking care of yourself and getting the education you deserve.”

No12chere’s comment does not seem too far-fetched, given that gender biases run deep in OP’s family. It is likely that the parents will apply the same biases to OP’s kids that they did with OP.

The Verdict

OP’s situation highlights the negative impact of gender-based expectations and the importance of following one’s passions. The comments from other social media users show that OP’s actions were reasonable and valid.

The need for a genuine apology, protecting children from bigotry, and not allowing negative experiences to hold us back are some of the key takeaways from the discussion.

Creating an environment that promotes equality and encourages individuals to pursue their dreams is essential.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think OP from the social media post was in the wrong?

Featured Image Credit: IgorVetushko /

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.