When there’s no stage or camera around, how does a good man behave? You won’t see his character in flashy or explosive ways, but you’ll notice it in the small moments out in the world. It’s in the places he goes where he thinks few people care or notice that the best of him might just slip out.
We asked a group of people about behaviors they have noticed in public that have made them assume someone is a genuinely good person. So if you ever see a man doing these things, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re in the presence of a genuinely good person.+
Picking up litter
We all know that guy who pretends to sneeze just so they can flick a piece of gum on the ground without getting caught. This is the complete opposite of that guy. Bending down to grab some trash off the sidewalk or binning a plastic bottle instead of dropping it into the street tells you he cares about the shared spaces he lives in, even when no one is watching or praising him for it.
Giving up his seat
Did he literally leap out of his seat as soon as he noticed an older person, pregnant woman, or parent with a child on the train? He didn’t wait to be asked and he didn’t need a trophy for it. He just saw an opportunity to do the right thing, and he did it.
Thanking service workers
So many of us have become numb to the people who make the world go round. But if he takes the time to thank the bus driver when he gets off, acknowledges the security guard with a nod, or makes eye contact with the cleaner, he’s telling you that he doesn’t think they’re invisible. He knows they’re human, and he sees them.
Checking in on strangers
If someone stumbles on the street or drops their bag of groceries, a woman with her hands full of kids crosses his path, or someone looks lost and he can help, he checks in. He doesn’t walk on by, hoping no one noticed. He at least asks if they’re okay or if he can help. And that small act of human connection is what separates him from the rest of the pack.
Helping parents
No parent wants to juggle a stroller, a diaper bag, a toddler, with bags under their eyes from lack of sleep, and their sense of sanity while out in public. If a man steps up to hold a door, lift the stroller up the steps, or distract the child so that the parent can catch their breath, that’s tangible, human help. That’s the real thing.
Waiting his turn
Crowds are the ultimate test of everyone’s patience. If he doesn’t push past people, skip the line, or lose his temper because things aren’t moving fast enough for him, that’s the real deal. Patience is his character shining through in the small things.
Protecting people without making a big deal about it
He might not go full knight in shining armor. He might move aside on the sidewalk so someone walking alone at night feels safer, or make sure a woman isn’t being harassed in a crowded bar.
Returning things that aren’t his
This is a good test for anyone. If he sees a wallet, phone, or loose cash on the floor, a good man picks it up and hands it back to the person who dropped it or brings it to the police station. He knows it isn’t his, and he doesn’t take it.
Speaking politely in public
You know who the truly good people are when you see how they treat those who can’t offer them anything in return. The man who treats cashiers, waiters, or random strangers in line (whether he’s waiting for a take-out coffee or groceries) with basic politeness, even when the other person screws up or is rude back, is telling you that he’s a decent man.
Engaging politely with children
When kids wave from the street or proudly show you their toy or costume while talking endlessly, does he ignore them or wave back and create a memorable connection? The way he respects and treats others in his environment shows his general approach to people around him.
Being patient when things are chaotic
Public places (airports, markets, traffic jams, etc.) can bring out the very worst in us if we’re not careful. But if he doesn’t lash out at staff, shove through crowds, or pick fights with strangers, you’ve spotted a man with the calm strength of character to keep his cool in the small but meaningful ways.
Making sure everyone is included
When everyone’s having fun, there’s always that one person who quietly sits on the sidelines. The good man notices, of course. He engages them gently by asking a question or sharing a laugh, or simply makes space for their voice to be heard.
Respecting noise and space
A good man is considerate of the people around him. He doesn’t blast music on public transport, yell on his phone in busy places, or bump into a person’s space in line. He keeps his volume down, and he gives people space.
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