There are so many habits that seem small while you’re dating, but they become way bigger when you imagine having to deal with them for the next 30 years.
She thinks refusing all compromise means she has strong standards
Having standards is perfectly fine, and everyone should be that way. But some women take it too far and act as though every shared decision should somehow end exactly where they want it to.Â
Where you live and how much you save, it’s all under her control. That doesn’t mean she has strong standards, far from it. Refusing all compromise isn’t okay, and it means that you never actually get to decide anything together.
She thinks embarrassing you in front of other people is harmless
She might tell an embarrassing story about you because everyone laughed last time, and she might say it’s teasing. But there’s a difference between playful ribbing and turning your private worries into a conversation for everybody.
Humiliating or shaming a partner in front of other people is one of the strongest warning signs of abuse. Think about it this way. If she’s making a joke about you while you’re only dating, what’s she going to do when you’ve been together for a long time?
She thinks checking your phone without permission is justified
It’s okay to be a little secretive with your phone. At least, sometimes it is, because you might have some work messages or family conversations that you don’t want anybody else knowing about. That’s perfectly fine.
What’s not okay is when someone keeps checking your phone like you don’t deserve privacy. They act as though there aren’t any boundaries, when really, there are. You should only share your password and phone if you both feel comfortable with it. She shouldn’t act like it’s okay to demand access.
She thinks all of her exes were entirely to blame
Let’s get one thing straight. It’s not like every ex has to be a saint. That’d be unrealistic. But that doesn’t mean every single one of her past partners should be described as cruel or selfish. They can’t all be unstable or somehow entirely responsible for the relationship’s end.
Pay attention to what she’s not saying. You might realize that, actually, she’s never admitted fault or accepted blame for anything that happened. She’s pinned everything on the ex instead. That tells you that she’s not someone who’s willing to take responsibility. You don’t want to get married to someone like that.
She thinks jealousy proves how much she loves you
Jealousy. It’s one of those things that might look kind of flattering at first, as she wants to know who texted and why you took so long. Think about it, though. Jealousy doesn’t prove someone loves you, it only proves that they’re an insecure person.
A woman who thinks it’s okay to constantly check on you is a woman you should be wary of. It’s a warning sign as to the kind of woman she really is. It’s pretty exhausting when you’re dating, and it’s only going to get worse if you get married.
She thinks household responsibilities are automatically your problem
Household responsibilities are exactly that. They’re responsibilities for the household, not one single person. That means she shouldn’t initially assume you’re responsible for the dishes in the sink and the laundry. It doesn’t all belong to one person.Â
You’ve both got to play your part, and couples can split work unevenly while still being perfectly happy. The issue here is when she automatically assumes that it’s all yours. You’re better off talking about the boring stuff now, rather than waiting.
She thinks marriage will fix serious relationship problems
Let’s face facts. A marriage is a commitment. A wedding is a party and, often, a very expensive cake. But neither of them is going to repair a relationship or somehow make any serious issues between you go away.
No, the lying won’t stop because you’re hitched, and no, the contempt won’t go away either. She shouldn’t think it’s okay to get married as a band-aid for your relationship. It doesn’t work that way.
She thinks love means you should accept her exactly as she is
The idea of telling someone ‘Accept me as I am’ sounds nice enough. Then you realize that it means no apology and no effort, as well as no change ever. People deserve acceptance, of course they do, but they also need to stop doing things that keep hurting the person they love.
It’s not fair for her to believe you’ve got to accept her exactly as she is. That’s not love, not in the slightest. We all change, and that’s a good thing, but refusing it certainly isn’t.
She thinks it is acceptable to test your loyalty
Loyalty tests are a tricky one. Some women think they’re okay because they believe that, if a guy really likes them, they’ll pass with flying colors. So they’ll invent a crisis to see whether you’ll cancel plans, or message you from a fake profile to see what you’ll do. Bad idea.
That’s a form of manipulation and abuse, not love. It’s normal to feel insecure sometimes because we all get that way. It’s not okay to set traps and make someone follow rules or pass tests that you never told them about.
She thinks having a child will make an unstable relationship stronger
It’s true that babies are wonderful, and it’s true that they can bring a couple closer. But newsflash, they’re not couples counselors by themselves. They’re not going to make a struggling relationship suddenly any better.
A woman who thinks it’s okay to have a child to save a relationship is wrong. If anything, having a baby is only going to make a struggling relationship even worse, since it adds more pressure to the whole thing. You don’t want to get involved in that kind of situation.
She thinks expensive gifts are proof of love
Don’t get us wrong, it’s nice to get a pricey gift sometimes. It shouldn’t be used as a distraction, however, and she shouldn’t give or receive gifts with that expectation. She shouldn’t see them as proof of someone being honest or patient in the relationship.
Anything that comes in a gift box doesn’t replace the need for someone who’s dependable. Women who treat pricey gifts as proof of love are dangerous women.
She thinks marriage means you must forgive anything
Listen to how she talks about marriage. You might notice that she thinks wedding vows are like a lifetime free pass, where you can be forgiven for absolutely anything. Doesn’t matter whether it’s lies about money, doesn’t matter whether it’s about cheating.
You promised to stay, so you’re supposed to do exactly that. Except, no, that’s not okay. Marriage obviously does involve a lot of forgiveness, but it doesn’t remove consequences or force trust to return on command.
She thinks you should always take her side
The way she behaves in public is rather telling, too, especially when she always expects you to back her version in front of everyone. She doesn’t care that she’s actually wrong. No, she thinks you should be loyal and nod along to everything she says.
That’s not right. A loving partner should accept accountability and expect honest communication during conflict, rather than automatic agreement. You can totally defend her from unfair treatment, of course. But you can also still admit when she handled something badly.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
Never marry a man who shows these 11 warning signs
When you’re falling in love with a man, it can be tempting to excuse his bad behavior and poor habits; however, these negative traits won’t dissolve when you tie the knot.
