When Family Comes With a Price Tag: Navigating the Dilemma of Choosing Between Family and Future

2 girl friends hugging each other and laughing.

“Blood is thicker than water” is a well-known phrase that emphasizes the importance of family ties.

However, family dynamics can be complex and nuanced, especially when it comes to money.

Inheritance can often bring up feelings of entitlement, jealousy, or resentment among siblings, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. This is the predicament the original poster (OP) of a recent social media post found herself in.

After the loss of their father a year ago, the original poster (OP) and her older sister received an inheritance.

The older sister used her inheritance to purchase new cars and renovate her home, while OP is planning to use her inheritance to pay for college tuition.

Their relationship has been strained since the older sister married her chronically ill husband, who made backhanded comments about their father and caused a scene at his funeral.

OP distanced herself, but OP’s sister continued to visit and vent about her husband’s health issues.

Recently, the older sister asked OP to use her inheritance to help pay for her husband’s surgery, promising to pay her back within a year.

However, OP was hesitant to give her sister such a large sum of money, as she was unsure if she would be able to pay her back in time for college.

The older sister had a meltdown and accused OP of being heartless and cruel.

Their aunt suggested that this may rip apart the sisters’ relationship for good. OP’s friend, on the other hand, suggested that OP’s sister should sell their assets to pay for the surgery instead of asking for money.

To Lend or Not To Lend?

One of the first comments the social media post received was from user cashycallow, who states that the sister spent her inheritance on luxurious items and now expects her sibling to bail her out.

“She chose how to spend her inheritance, didn’t save for a rainy day, and isn’t entitled to yours because of her poor financial planning.”

Another user, ClawedRavenesque, suggests that OP can consider donating a small sum that they can afford to lose to their sister to get her off their back.

“She knew her husband was in poor health – the wise thing to have done was put money aside instead of buying luxuries that depreciate. She can’t know how much you have, right? If you feel like it, donate a small sum you can manage to lose and tell her that you “lost” a lot of it in bad investments to get her off your back and keep the relationship with her. But, honestly, she’s not entitled to anything you have. The manipulation is awful, and you deserve to have your dreams. Do you really need them in your life, OP?”

User UnhappyCryptographer felt that it wasn’t OP’s responsibility to take care of her brother-in-law and came up with a more direct solution.

“They keep their luxuries and want to run you dry on your money. Don’t let them do that! You will never be paid back. Block them on all numbers, don’t let them guilt trip you. They have other ways they can walk to get money. Like your friend suggested, let them sell all things that are a luxury. The health of your brother-in-law is not something that is your responsibility.”

This suggestion from UnhappyCryptographer is similar to OP’s friend’s suggestion, who suggested that OP’s sister should sell her luxurious items to fund the surgery.

There are other ways the sister and her husband can obtain money for medical expenses.

Mera1506’s comment is particularly relevant. The user asked why the husband’s surgery should take priority over OP’s education.

According to the user, It’s essential to recognize that OP’s education is an investment in her future. OP has already taken a gap year, and the money from her part of the inheritance will help OP pursue her dreams of becoming a doctor.

Mera1506 commented:

“Why should his surgery trump OP’s education? It shouldn’t. Sister spent her inheritance money unwisely and now is stuck. She can start a go-fund-me so that all of the people blaming OP can show how concerned they are by donating.”

Another user IACITE_HOC suggested that the older sister’s behavior might be a common denominator of shi**iness.

“Save your money and your energy for relationships that give you as much as you give them.”

The Verdict

The majority of the users on social media agreed that OP’s sister has put her in an awkward situation where she is forced to choose between her future and her sister’s financial woes.

While family is an essential part of our lives, it’s essential to recognize when family members are not acting in our best interest.

It’s okay to say no and prioritize oneself, which is precisely what OP has done. OP’s inheritance money is for her future, and she has every right to use it to fund her education.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think the OP from this social media post was wrong?

Featured Image Credit: YuliyaKirayonakBO /Depositphotos.com.

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of AshandPri.com and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.