Cheaters tend to find some kind of way to justify their actions or minimise their crimes. These are nasty and confusing justifications when you’re already wounded by the betrayal. Cheaters may say things that make you wonder what is going on, or even make you feel guilty.
You have to recognize these exonerations for what they are – attempts to put blame away. It’s best to know the cheaters’ typical excuses in order to identify them and be unwavering in your emotions. Here are 8 cheater’s excuses you shouldn’t believe.
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“It Was Just a Mistake”
Cheaters like to justify their actions with the rhetoric of making a mistake. They’ll say it wasn’t their intention, and you’ll think it was a one-off. Cheating is no accident, though. It’s a deliberate act of trust-breaking. By referring to it as a mistake, they’re eclipsing the real problem, which is the breakdown of your relationship.
“Everyone Does It”
Some cheaters will simply say “everyone does it” and try to make their cheating appear normal. They want you to think that cheating is common and a no-brainer. But because other people might cheat doesn’t mean it’s ok. This defence is an attempt to justify bad behaviour, and not take responsibility for their actions. And don’t let them tell you it is good to be this way.
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“It Didn’t Mean Anything”
There is the second most common rationalisation: the cheating “had no purpose.” They will claim that they did nothing, it didn’t matter, and they want to make it sound less serious. But this rationale ignores the emotional wound and loss of trust. That’s largely an excuse for underplaying their deception. It might have not been all that important to them, but it’s likely a big deal to you.
‘You Got So Busy For Me’
Cheaters may attempt to blame you by telling you they cheat because you weren’t available for them. They’ll say they wouldn’t have left if you had listened to them more. This is a con artist trick to take blame away from themselves. Everybody has a schedule but that doesn’t make cheating acceptable. Relationships require communication, not excuses.
“We Were On A Break”
If you and your partner took time off together, they may take this as justification for cheating, and insist that was because you were gone. This excuse attempts to draw a blank on what’s okay during a relationship hiatus. But lying is lying, no matter what’s going on with the relationship at the time. Don’t dismiss your hurt with this excuse.
“I Was Drunk”
Cheaters could say that they cheated only because they were drunk or intoxicated. They’ll say they weren’t thinking and didn’t do you any harm. Drugs do cloud the mind, but that doesn’t justify betraying your trust. Gettin drunk doesn’t undo their behaviour. And that’s no excuse to deny what happened.
“It Won’t Happen Again”
When caught, the cheater might avow it was a one-off, and promise never to cheat again. They’ll beg for forgiveness and a second chance. But that rationale is often a hollow one. Trust that has been damaged requires more than words to mend. You need to see hard work and transformation, not only hear something that’s allegedly not going to be done.
“You’re Overreacting”
Fraudsters may want you to think that your response is too strong. They will say that you are crazy. They’ll gloss over the severity of their actions to avoid being fully accountable. This is to trick you into thinking you are crazy. Do not let them diminish your emotions, cheating is serious business and your feelings are genuine.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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