You might think those comments sound completely harmless, but as it turns out, there are a few things you should never say to an American, no matter how careful you think you’re being.
When the volume comes up
One of the worst things some people say is about the noise. Because, apparently, all Americans talk at a higher volume, so some people think it’s okay to ask, ‘Why are Americans so loud?’ But we don’t all talk the same way.
There are a few of us who are loud, sure, but there are so many who are quiet, almost painfully quiet. It’s not like being loud is a bad thing, anyway. Sometimes we just want to be heard.
The plate gets personal
It’s not like Americans want to defend everything in the grocery store, but sometimes, it feels like we’ve got to. Plenty of people think they’ve got to tell us ‘Your food is all fake.’ There’s a lot of junk food over here, and we all understand that, yet it’s not everything.
We’ve got farmers’ markets and barbecue regions for starters. Oh, and plenty of seafood towns and immigrant restaurants that have become an important part of American cuisine. Fake food isn’t all of our food over here.
The taste attack
That’s not all for food, though, because some people try to tell us that our food is all disgusting. You know, they’ll say ‘Your chocolate is disgusting,’ or ‘Your bread is disgusting,’ or some variation of that.
A mass-market American version might not taste the same as other ones from abroad, and we understand that. But it’s made for our tastes. That doesn’t make it wrong, and that doesn’t mean that our food is somehow worse because of it.
The culture comment
Any time that you want to make the conversation weird, say something like ‘America has no culture.’ We don’t understand why anyone would think it’s okay to say that. Jazz, hip-hop, Hollywood, Broadway, Thanksgiving food, and so much more come from here.
A lot of our culture is global. That’s why it’s easy to ignore it as normal, when really, it’s actually quite impressive. There are even local cultures that don’t get that much exposure. The truth is, claiming we don’t have culture is pure laziness at best, and offensive at worst.
The safety shortcut
Generalizing is never fun, especially when you’re talking about countries. America’s such a big nation that the sentence, ‘Your country is so dangerous,’ makes absolutely no sense. It’s not like a quiet town in Vermont is the same as downtown Los Angeles, for starters.
Crime in one place is exactly that. One place. You can’t exactly paint all of America as being dangerous because of one headline or one specific crime story.
The world map accusation
Let’s face it. The U.S. is huge, and that means that any domestic news is more important to us than anything outside our borders. But it’s still not okay to say, ‘You people think you’re the center of the world.’
We know there are other countries, and some of us actually follow world news. You’ll even find a few Americans traveling abroad regularly. There’s just so much going on here, all the time, so can you blame us for focusing on it?
The race question
The reasons that race has become such a big part of life in America are simple. It’s part of our laws and civil rights history, as well as immigration history. Neighborhood patterns are part of it, as well. That doesn’t excuse asking, ‘Why do Americans care about race?’
There’s literally so much to the answer that you can’t expect every American to give a nice summary. Newsflash, that doesn’t exist.
The name debate
There are a few places where people think it’s acceptable to say, ‘America isn’t a country.’ Not because they think it’s a fictional place or anything, but because they think ‘America’ is a continent. They think it shouldn’t count as a country’s name.
It’s silly, really, because in English, we only ever use ‘American’ to talk about a person from the United States. It’s a different story in other languages, and we understand that. But suggesting that we’re somehow wrong for referring to ourselves this way? Utterly ridiculous.
The approval test
‘Are you one of the good Americans?’ It’s meant to be a little joke, but honestly, it’s a weird test to give someone. You’re expecting them to behave a certain way. They’re supposed to prove that they’re not the loud, rude, political, or clueless version of an American that you imagine.
It’s such a joke. There’s no one version of America or the people who live in it, and there’s no way you’d get away with saying this about any other country’s people.
The voting trap
Voting is private in the United States, and that’s the way it should be. Still, there are a few foreigners who think asking, ‘Did you vote for him?’ is a perfectly normal question. It’s not. We don’t all want to reveal what we put down on the ballot, and rightly so.
Not all of us vote, anyway. It’s relatively okay to bring it up when politics comes up, sure, but maybe ask some broader questions instead. Asking a question like that is only going to make things tense. You really want that?
The geography joke
We’re tired of hearing, ‘You must be bad at geography.’ It’s just a tired idea now. There are some Americans who can’t find certain countries on a map, yes, and that’s not something we approve of.
There are lots of us who do know how to use a globe. There are lots of us who weren’t even born here. A group insult doesn’t work, and it’s not right to act like we’re all the same over here.
The identity check
The problem with ‘You don’t seem American’ is that it’s not actually a compliment. It’s like people are expecting all Americans to be wearing a baseball cap and a giant smile. Don’t forget the burger in their hands.
There’s no single version of America since we’ve got so much variety. Is ‘American’ a Southerner? Or is it someone from New Jersey? Maybe it’s someone who lives in Los Angeles with a Valley Girl accent. Either way, there’s no right way to be an American.
The going-home line
There’s no denying that the United States has some scary headlines, and Americans know that better than anyone else. They’ve seen them. However, it doesn’t mean asking an American, ‘Are you scared to go back home?’ is okay.
You’re better off asking them about what they’re excited to do when they go back, and asking them what exactly ‘home’ is to them. There’s no reason you should start things off in such a negative way.
The final verdict
You’re sharing a preference when you say, ‘I could never live in America.’ At least, you think you are. But any American who hears it is going to be confused because they know there are so many benefits of living here.
Where else can you have such freedom of speech, for starters? It’s not even clear what version of America these people don’t like, either. Be honest if you’re talking about health care or gun problems. Don’t beat around the bush.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
