You can predict how someone will behave in a relationship by how she treats you in these nine tiny first-date scenarios.
She makes everything a crisis
Notice how she handles situations when the restaurant messes up their order or when traffic is suddenly stalled.
If she complains about a 5-minute delay as if the universe is conspiring against her or everyone around her is incompetent, then she doesn’t handle normal life friction well.
Whenever you date someone who perceives small hurdles as catastrophic you will sooner or later be forced to solve (or take) that frustration for her.
The victim or the hero
Listen to how she recounts stories about previous jobs, friendships, or family conflicts.
If she doesn’t mention her own faults in these stories (because she’s only the victim who did nothing wrong) or only talks about her heroic achievements, she’ll have a tough time accepting responsibility.
Remember a relationship is built on admitting your faults, so if she can’t do that over a story, why would she do it when she’s actually in a relationship?
She pushes the rules
There’s a difference between assertive and entitled.
If she’s adamant about ordering things off-menu, defying posted rules or strong-arming your server to bend policy just because she can, she doesn’t respect limits.
Those who scoff at minor, reasonable regulations typically have that same disrespect and inflexibility when it comes to relationships and being asked to take someone else’s boundaries into consideration.
Thrives on drama
Rather than asking questions to learn more about you she’ll mention political hot buttons or slam familiar people to see how you respond.
People often try to manufacture closeness quickly by finding common ground in what they dislike.
If someone needs toxicity to keep a conversation engaging on day one, expect drama and grievances to fuel future dates.
Changes plans on a whim
Pay attention if she randomly decides the plan needs to change without discussing it first or if she decides, out of the blue, to invite a friend halfway through without a word to you.
Sure, it’s nice to be flexible, but if she continually bulldozes plans that you both agreed on, she’s testing to see if you’ll just roll over for her.
She’s setting things up for those moments when she might decide to bail on your plans.
Idealizes you too quickly
To hear that you are “nothing like other men” or that she’s “never felt this way with someone” before the appetizers hit the table can feel amazing, but it’s often a form of idealization.
When someone elevates you to a pedestal immediately, they’re reacting to an idealized version of you, not the real person present.
The drop from that elevated position is usually rapid and harsh once your ordinary human imperfections surface.
Disrespects your time
Arriving late without apologizing, spending the entire meal glued to her phone, or leaving early without saying why, these are all signs that she doesn’t value your time the way that she values hers.
If she demands your promptness, attention, and flexibility while providing zero of those things in return, she’s showing you the level of respect she has for you.
How someone treats your time is one of the best measures of how they’ll treat you.
Judges your spending choices
When you suggest meeting somewhere casual, order a Coke, or say no to the $25 app, pay attention to her body language and tone.
Her passive-aggressive remarks, like “Wow, so fancy!”, coupled with eye rolls or other snipes, suggest she’s privately judging your choices based on status, money, or how you live.
Someone who genuinely likes spending time with you won’t fuss over the restaurant or your drink order.
Not the best listener
You tell her something about your job, or family or what you did last weekend. Twenty minutes later she asks you a question that demonstrates she was nowhere near listening to what you just said.
Being nervous doesn’t cause someone to forget everything. And if she doesn’t bother to inquire further about what you’ve shared, it’s clear she sees you as her audience.
Connections go two ways.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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