We all get angry from time to time. It’s human nature. Some people don’t just get angry. They live in that angry space and take it out on everyone in their path. Behavioral psychologists say there are some words and phrases that can help you recognize people like this. If you have someone in your life who frequently says lines like these, he or she may have some deep-seated anger issues that need to be addressed.
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“I’m not yelling, you’re just sensitive”
When someone says this, they’re going to try to turn it back on you and make you feel like it’s your problem. They won’t accept responsibility for raising their voice.
“You always do this!”
The use of “always” or “never” is black-and-white thinking. Instead of looking at the specific thing that might be the issue, they exaggerate it to something so broad you can’t even discuss it calmly.
“Don’t tell me to calm down”
It may seem like the thing to say, but you will only make them angrier. Telling them to chill out will be perceived as an attack rather than a way to smooth things over.
“I wouldn’t be mad if you hadn’t done that”
They blame others for their emotions and reactions. It’s a way of avoiding responsibility and putting all the pressure on you.
“You made me do it”
It’s the ultimate shirking of responsibility or blame-shifting. They pretend that you made them lose their temper, become aggressive or otherwise lash out when, in reality, they chose to do that.
“I’m just being honest”
After saying something cruel or otherwise hurtful, they often claim to have been “just being honest.” That’s not honest. It’s being self-indulgent and showing a complete lack of self-control and empathy.
“I don’t care”
This is the easiest way to dismiss a conversation or avoid dealing with the root of the problem. It’s dismissive and makes the other person feel unimportant.
“It’s not a big deal, stop making it one!”
They don’t want to take responsibility for what they did or said. It’s their way of avoiding accountability while making you feel like you’re overreacting. They try to downplay your feelings or concerns.
Why are you always against me?”
No matter how harmless something you say or do may be, they’ll always find a way to make it seem personal. It creates unnecessary drama and shuts down healthy communication.
“You’re lucky I held back”
It’s a veiled threat (meaning they will do something in the future unless you are more careful). They use this line to manipulate you into feeling scared and/or guilty, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
“People like you are the problem”
Instead of dealing with the situation, they insult you and generalize. It’s a way of attacking your identity instead of your actions.
“If you knew me better, you’d know not to say that”
It places the blame solely on you for “setting them off.” It’s manipulative and prevents you from having an honest talk.
“I don’t have time for this nonsense”
When they say this, they’re dismissing your concerns as unworthy of their time. It’s their way of shutting you down and ending the conversation on their terms.
“Don’t make me lose it”
This is a threat and not a warning. It’s meant to scare or control the other person rather than defuse the situation.
“That’s just how I am”
They use it as an excuse to remain angry or be mean. It reveals their unwillingness to change or grow.
“I guess I’m just the bad guy, huh?”
This phrase is an example of classic passive-aggressiveness. It’s designed to make the other person feel guilty. It turns the conversation into a guilt trip instead of coming to a resolution.
You think you’re so perfect”
Instead of addressing their own behavior, they deflect and attack you. It’s defensive and toxic and changes the focus from the real issue at hand.
“I’m done talking about this”
Using this phrase, they cut off the conversation before anything gets resolved. This is, in fact, a control tactic to avoid hearing anything they don’t like.
“Get over it”
This phrase dismisses your feelings completely. It’s cold, dismissive, and often used when they don’t want to face the consequences of their actions.
“I didn’t mean it like that”
Even when they say something hurtful, they act like you misunderstood. It’s a way of avoiding ownership while making you question your reaction.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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