Whenever a man is starting to picture a future with a woman, he’ll give himself away by asking questions that seem completely normal, but they actually reveal a lot.
The friends who know about him
Asking a woman, ‘Have you told your friends about me?’ does seem a little nosy. Turns out, though, that there’s a reason a man might ask this, and it’s because he’s getting serious about a woman. A guy asking this has probably already mentioned her to his friends.
He’s asking it to see whether she’s done the same. Even if she hasn’t, the fact that he’s asking is important, as it shows he wants to know how he fits into her life. He wants to see whether he’s becoming part of her wider social group.
An invitation into his circle
It’s the same story when he asks, ‘Do you want to meet my friends?’ He wants to see how she’ll fit into his circle, and he wants to know how she’ll respond to the people who have known him forever. Maybe she’ll meet his friends at someone’s birthday party or maybe just on a regular Friday night out.
The situation itself doesn’t matter. No, what really counts is that he’s already told his friends about her, and he wants everyone to spend time together. You don’t do that for people you’re not serious about.
A little space at his place
There’ll be a time when she’s packing up after another weekend at his apartment. That’s when he’ll ask this one. He’ll pose the question, ‘Do you want to leave some stuff at mine?’ and it sounds so casual, but really, it’s a lot more telling.
He’s offering her some physical space in his home, and that might make things more permanent. It usually starts off with a toothbrush. But then it becomes an entire bathroom drawer, and then it won’t be long before the two of them are actually living together.
The call after a long day
Most people want the same thing after they’ve finished work. They just want to get home and forget about everything. That’s one of the reasons that the question ‘Can I call you right after work?’ is so important, as it shows he wants to talk to her immediately after finishing.
He’s sacrificing his personal time to speak to this woman. There might not even be a reason for calling, and he could simply be getting into the habit of including her in these ordinary parts of his day. It’s a good sign he’s thinking about making things serious.
The plans he already had
‘Do you want to come with me?’ It’s such a simple question, yet it’s also quite important. The event he’s inviting her to doesn’t really matter because it’s the fact he’s inviting her that counts. He’s planning a future with her.
Perhaps it’s only an invitation to a family thing, but still, it’s important. He wants her around while he’s doing other stuff. You’re not going to willingly make plans with someone you’re not interested in, after all.
The holiday calendar
Christmas could be months away, yet he’s asking her, ‘What are you doing for Christmas this year?’ That’s because he’s already thinking about how the two of them will spend the holidays together. He’s planning that far in advance because he can picture them still being together.
It’s probably not going to be easy to rearrange any traditions she already has. So, he’s asking early, rather than springing an invitation on her last minute. It doesn’t even have to be Christmas, as questions about any future holidays are important.
The relationship before him
No, talking about exes is hardly anyone’s idea of a romantic evening. It still counts, though. A guy who asks, ‘What happened with your last relationship?’ wants to know exactly what happened to bring the relationship to an end, with all the gory details.
He’s asking because he wants to know how to avoid those same mistakes. The truth is, you’re not going to be interested in those sorts of details unless you’re interested in making the right moves in a relationship. He’ll probably end up sharing a few stories about his own past, too.
The conversation after an argument
Arguments happen all the time. That’s life. But only guys who want a serious relationship will ask, ‘Are we okay?’ after there’s a disagreement. He’s not necessarily looking to reopen the entire argument and start the whole thing again.
He’s probably hoping to put it behind them, in fact, and he doesn’t want to spend the next two days wondering whether she’s still upset. He’s asking this question because he’s keen to get things back to how they should be.
The next date on the calendar
They’ve not even said goodbye yet. But he’s already asking, ‘When am I seeing you again?’ because he wants to have concrete plans for where things are going. There might actually be a good reason for the rush.
Perhaps his work schedule is packed for the next couple of weeks, but either way, he wants to make sure they have something arranged. In other words, he doesn’t want to leave their next meeting to chance. He wants to know the plan, so he clearly wants things to get serious.
The message after midnight
A guy who asks, ‘Did you get home okay?’ isn’t trying to start another two-hour conversation. He’s genuinely interested in making sure that the other person is okay, and there’s no clearer sign that he’s into her.
He wants her to be safe, simple as that. It might not even have been a difficult journey home, but the fact is, he bothered to make sure everything was okay.
The question he hesitates to ask
You’ll usually hear a pause after a guy asks, ‘Can I ask you something personal?’ because he’s about to ask about something he’s been wondering about for a while. It could be about why she doesn’t speak to her father, or maybe whether she’d like to have children.
Either way, these questions aren’t things you’ll normally ask on a first date. He’s asking them because he’s reached a point where he’d like to understand more about her. He wants to know about the things that are difficult to discuss. He wants to know her on another level.
The second check
Whenever a guy asks, ‘Are you sure you’re okay with that?’ he’s doing it because he doesn’t want her to feel under pressure. He wants her to feel free to make her own decisions. True, he might do that with every woman he knows, but context really matters here.
He might be asking because he doesn’t want her to agree to something just to make him happy. He wants her to be genuinely okay with things. He’d rather change plans than have her resent him the whole weekend, and that’s a good indication he’s looking for a future together.
Something he’s been keeping to himself
‘Can I tell you something?’ That question always comes before something serious, and he’s probably about to reveal something that he’s been keeping quiet about. It’s a really important step in a relationship.
Think about it. He’d normally deal with the problem himself, but now, he’s starting to think of her as someone that he’s able to turn to when life gets a little messy. He’s letting her into real parts of his life, including the embarrassing aspects.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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