Kids do all sorts of unpleasant things sometimes, and it’s not always a sign of anything problematic, but there are some repeated behaviors that could point to major issues.
The missing aftermath
Fighting among kids is never fun to deal with. What really matters, though, isn’t so much the punch or cruel comment, but rather what happens five minutes later. A child might’ve clearly hurt someone, yet they refuse to show any guilt or responsibility for their actions.
They don’t even bother to make it right, and they don’t seem at all curious about the other person. That’s a problem. Children who consistently lack remorse often show psychopathic traits when they’re adults. It’s a lot more than losing your temper.
The power game
Playground conflict is one thing. Always picking the kid least likely to fight back is something else. You know the one, maybe it’s a kid who’s younger or smaller, and another child chooses to consistently pick on them.
That sort of planned, reward-seeking aggression is what psychologists refer to as proactive aggression. They’ve linked it with antisocial behavior later in life, and in some cases, it’s led to the police getting involved.
The cruelty test
Many kids are rough with animals because they don’t understand what they’re doing. They’re not deliberately trying to hurt them, and sometimes, they’re learning about the world. Deliberate cruelty isn’t the same thing. That’s when someone hurts an animal just to hurt it, and then repeats the action, maybe while watching its reaction.Â
They know perfectly well that the animal is in pain, and it’s a sign of a much darker pattern. Childhood animal cruelty has been linked in many studies to later offending. It’s the same story with adult prisoners, as many of them show cruelty toward animals, too.
The pointless story
It’s totally normal to lie as a child, even though not every parent wants to admit it. A lot of these childhood lies make sense, like saying you didn’t eat the cookies to avoid punishment. But there are some concerning lies. These are the lies that are unnecessary and kind of pointless.
They’re the lies a child tells even when the truth would work perfectly well. They’ll change details for no reason, and may keep lying after people stop caring. Consistent ‘pointless’ lying has a strong connection to later antisocial and psychopathic behavior. It’s that serious.
The unwanted object
Let’s get one thing straight. It’s never good when kids steal things, but sometimes, you can see the reason behind it. Maybe a kid stole a special toy from school because they liked the look of it, for example. The real problem is when a kid steals something that they don’t need.
They might steal another student’s cheap pen or pocket something they already have at home. That’s an issue. Researchers have found that repeated stealing and lying are often associated with criminal behavior. It all starts with a few wandering hands as a child.
The permanent scapegoat
Try asking a kid what happened, and you might hear an explanation of how it’s always another person’s fault. The fact that the evidence is sitting right there doesn’t matter to them. No, the responsibility always goes elsewhere, especially when it’s about something serious.
Kids who refuse to take ownership may grow up to exhibit antisocial behavior as adults. They might start justifying their harmful behavior by blaming victims. They might blame the circumstances, too, and that’s definitely not a good thing.
The broken boundary
A smashed toy during a fight with a sibling is something that happens. You can’t usually stop that. But it’s rather telling when a child deliberately wrecks somebody’s things because they know it’ll upset them. It might be as simple as snapping their pencils or scratching their bike.
Either way, they’ve deliberately destroyed someone’s property. Researchers have linked such behavior to something called conduct disorder, and consistent conduct problems are associated with negative adult outcomes. Yes, it includes antisocial behavior.
The wrong concern
You might notice that a child suddenly becomes very sorry at the exact moment that you punish them. They don’t seem to care at all before. No, it’s the chance that they might lose their tablet for a week that makes them concerned. Pay attention to that.
It could be a sign that they lack guilt and empathy toward others. They might be unbothered that they’ve hurt someone, and instead, only care about how they’ve been affected by it. That sort of behavior may lead to severe socialization problems as an adult.
The group attack
It’s pretty serious when one child turns a problem into a group project. They stop simply ignoring somebody themselves. Now, they’re telling their friends not to sit with them and deciding who can talk to them. They’re getting everyone involved in their social aggression.
This sort of childhood behavior has been linked to big problems as an adult. They’re organizing people in a way that takes social awareness, and it shows they understand the group well enough to use it against someone.
The easy target
There are those kids who treat kindness almost like a loophole. They’ll notice one friend always forgives them and another shares without being asked. So they start using it. They don’t appreciate the other kid’s nice traits whatsoever.
They only apologize when they want something back. They act affectionate to get a favor. Put it this way, it’s a form of manipulation, and it’s been repeatedly linked to traits of psychopathic adults. These include low empathy and shallow guilt.
The pattern that stays
You could try punishing a bad kid. That works, most of the time, but there are some kids who really don’t seem to care. The same serious behavior, like stealing or aggression, keeps coming back after every punishment. It doesn’t matter how you change the punishment itself.
Persistent negative behavior like that matters more than a bad phase. Children who stay on very high conduct-problem paths are more likely to have major antisocial problems as adults. A kid who isn’t improving, despite repeated consequences, is the one to be worried about.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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