Small changes in body language can dramatically change how you are perceived without having to change one thing about your physical appearance.
Before you even speak
Don’t walk into a room and immediately look down at your feet or phone or rush to your nearest familiar person. Take it at a relaxed stride, and pause once you get there to survey your surroundings. Projecting confidence by seeming at ease in a new environment will make you immediately come off as more attractive.
Hold it a little longer
Good eye contact doesn’t mean locking someone’s gaze from the start to the finish of a conversation. Try holding eye contact just a fraction longer than normal when someone is talking to you. Then break away naturally, instead of abruptly dropping your eyes to the ground. That second makes all the difference and can portray confidence, intrigue, and interest.
Give your phone a rest
A behavior that can make you extremely attractive in conversation today is also one of the simplest: don’t look at your phone. Resting it face down on the table is an improvement over pulling it out periodically, but putting it away entirely works best. You’ll find your eye contact and responses become less distracted when you’re not darting your eyes to silent alerts every few seconds.
Let it reach your eyes
A fixed smile can seem fake. But when you genuinely smile at the right moment, it can light up your whole face. Rather than smiling at everyone automatically, let your face change as you greet someone or something makes you laugh. Your smile will feel warmer because it wasn’t forced.
Keep them visible
Did you know your hands tell people more than you realize? Keep them shoved into your pockets or hidden under the table all the time, and your body language will seem closed off. Keep your hands visible in a natural way and use small gestures when you talk. There’s no need to gesticulate wildly. Relax your hands and move them in open, comfortable gestures, and you’ll come across as warmer, more expressive, and more trustworthy.
Slow everything down
People tend to fidget when they are nervous. There are dozens of little habits we can pick up: playing with your hair or sleeves, bouncing your leg, checking your watch, constantly shifting in your seat. You might not even realize you’re doing these things, but others will notice. Try moving half as much, and learn to sit still if there’s nothing you need to do.
Turn more than your head
Don’t make eye contact with someone as they are talking to you with your body still facing in another direction. Lean your body slightly towards them. This shows interest before you even begin to speak. It makes others feel like you are paying attention to them instead of them just interrupting you.
Drop them an inch
Whenever you feel nervous, your shoulders involuntarily rise and slide forward, which can make your whole stance appear tense or defensive. Drop your shoulders, relax your arms, and keep your chest comfortably open. Remember you don’t want to stand rigid, like posing for a photo. Loose posture is usually more attractive because it gives the impression that you’re not self-conscious.
Don’t make yourself smaller
When we feel intimidated, we literally shrink ourselves. We slouch down, cross our arms tightly, or tuck our feet down beneath our chair. There’s no reason for you to counterbalance by sprawling out over half the room. Simply take up an open, natural posture. Sit or stand relaxed instead of trying to occupy as little space as possible
Leave some space
Getting physically closer to someone is not a sign of confidence or attraction. Someone who leans into your personal space repeatedly can make even the nicest conversation feel uncomfortable in no time. Notice how close the other person stays. If they edge forward a bit, go with it; if they take a step back, then don’t step back into their space. Recognizing those subtle cues shows that you have social skills, and being comfortable around you is attractive in itself.
The half-second pause
Instead of jerking your head toward someone who calls your name or walks into your conversation, smoothly turn your head and look at them with ease. You will instantly seem much calmer. This rule goes for when someone asks you a question as well. Letting there be a short pause before you speak can make your gestures and responses feel much less jittery.
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