A woman might move on, grow, and build a life, but there will always be things about him she loved that reside in the back of her mind.
What if
She thinks about what if every now and then. She doesn’t necessarily wish things could’ve worked out or that she could change the past, but there are certain things that haunt her mind and make her think what would’ve happened if she had just made a different choice.
Sometimes these thoughts come knocking when she least expects them. Sometimes they’re quiet, subtle reminders when she’s alone.
The memory
She doesn’t forget him. How could she? But the memories fade over time. It may be his laugh. The way his voice sounded when he talked to her, or even small, insignificant moments that meant nothing at the time, but everything now.
Random things can pop into her head at the oddest times: a place, a song, nothing in particular. She won’t always feel sadness when she thinks of him. She will feel nostalgia.
The feeling
She will always remember how he made her feel, whether it was safe or scared, loved or emotionally intense. Sometimes, it’s not him she is thinking about, but about how he made her feel and how crazy that feeling was.
The lesson
She may not know it now, but that relationship taught her something. Maybe he taught her what she deserved, what she should never allow again, or how strong she really is.
Sometimes the relationships that break you are the ones that teach you the most. She’ll look back one day and understand that that relationship helped mold her into the person she is today.
Soft spot
She will always have a soft spot for him. It doesn’t mean she wants him back or that she wants to talk to him. It just means that once, he was somebody that she cared about.
That soft spot will never really go away. It’s not something she thinks about every day, but it’s there, quiet.
Unfinished version
She remembers who she was when she was with him. She talked differently, laughed differently, and saw the world differently. And when it ended with him, that version of herself went with it.
She knows she’ll never be that version again. What hurts is that she liked that version of herself. She’s not missing him; she’s missing who she was with him.
The comparison
She will subconsciously compare other guys to him. It may be something as small as the way they talk too much or how they say certain things that you loved. She will notice these similarities without even trying.
It’s not something she does on purpose, but it happens naturally when someone has left a strong emotional mark. Over time, these comparisons fade, but they can still appear in unexpected ways.
The words
There will be things that she wishes she had said, and things she wishes she had said differently. Things left unsaid can haunt you.
Whether she’s trying to fall asleep or waking up in the morning, there will be times when she thinks about those words left unsaid between them. She will replay those conversations over and over in her head. But slowly, those words will fade.
Growth
She will look back and realize how much she has grown since that relationship. That could’ve been her catalyst. The thing that pushed her to really feel something and learn more about who she is as a person.
Sometimes it takes a breakup to make you grow. She learns from her past relationship and uses it to better understand what she wants in the future.
Quiet memory
In the end, it settles into a quiet place in her mind, something she won’t think about often, but it’ll always live somewhere inside of her.
There will be days, even years from now, when something (a song, a place, or a thought) will trigger him to pop back into her thoughts. And in that short moment, she will remember him, but not with pain as before.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
