Eventually, life hits a stage where the stage doesn’t matter so much. The subtle decisions, the clothes you wear, how you’re perceived, the masks you held up once so carefully, they stop mattering so much. Age reduces everything to the bare essentials. It’s less about making a statement and more about what to quietly let go of.
Keeping up with seasonal decorating
Holiday traditions tend to become scaled-down as energy for elaborate ritual wanes. Research finds that older adults typically decorate on a smaller scale, with small “gestures” meaningful to the individual, such as a candle, a mini-tree, or family pictures, rather than for social “performance.”
Pretending to enjoy multitasking
For decades, juggling ten things at once has been something to boast about. After a while, most middle-aged people give up feigning enthusiasm for it. Attention changes as we age, research shows, and undivided work is more productive than multitasking. Many report, in fact, that the payoff for taking it slow and paying full attention brings better results.
Remembering every birthday and anniversary
When you are a young adult it can feel like a serious mistake to miss a birthday or anniversary. Research on aging has found that people lower these expectations in older adulthood. Instead of emphasizing remembering the date, they emphasize sincere connection such as spending some quality time together or a personal check in over an official acknowledgement.
Eating at the “right” times of day
Clocks can become less important as we age and hunger cues can take on a greater role in determining when to eat. Research on aging and nutrition has shown that allowing oneself to eat when needed, for comfort, for hydration, and for nutritional needs, as opposed to always eating three set meals a day, is better for the older adult.
Answering calls right away
I used to feel that the phone dictated when I should be available. Many seniors have now come to where they let a call go to voice mail unless it’s family or urgent. It’s not about being rude or anything like that. It’s knowing that every ring doesn’t have to be responded to.
Sitting through long ceremonies or events
Weddings that last three hours or award shows that drag on forever will test anyone’s patience. Mature adults are no longer fooling themselves about how much fun these can be. They go, but pay attention to what matters to them. And they may cut corners or take naps so as not to sacrifice comfort.
Being polite about bad service
As children and young people, sometimes we feel compelled to smile when we have had a bad meal, or a long wait. Age changes this instinct. Elderly are more blunt, correcting errors or walking away when needed. Honesty and convenience trump social convention.
Keeping up with every distant relative or old classmate
Holiday cards, the occasional phone call, and a “like” on Facebook once sustained thin ties. In research on social networks in later life, we’ve found that older adults instinctively prune them. Superficial relationships fade with no guilt; the stronger, deeper ones remain.
Wearing uncomfortable shoes or clothes for appearances
Itchy sweaters and pinching shoes were just a fact of life when we were young. As we get older, we make different choices. Comfort is key. No more explaining how nice it is to dress down. It’s about what makes us feel good and move easily through the day.
Finishing every book or movie
Younger people feel they must always finish what they start. Older adults think differently about this. Studies show that giving up on books or movies that aren’t enjoyable is good for your well-being. It also shows you have a realistic understanding of time.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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