It’s easy to define what makes a good wife through clichés and shallow expectations; But the foundation of a strong marriage is rarely glamorous.
Space between
Clingy relationships require clinging partners. In the long run, all that constant closeness can exhaust anyone, no matter how stable they are.
A great wife doesn’t take it personally when her husband needs some time alone to Netflix and chill, or whatever it is guys do by themselves. He is his own person with his own thoughts and he needs time to vent, reflect or just shoot some hoops.
Instead of viewing his need for silence as abandonment, she guards his downtime for him. This ensures he returns home to his wife and children feeling refreshed, engaged, and profoundly thankful for her.
Small sparks
There are lots of small grievances that happen every day in a relationship. One spouse could accidentally hurt the feelings of another, or dismiss something that is very important to them.
A great wife won’t hold these things over their husband’s head. She’ll call them out and air the issue when it happens.
By addressing it right away, she doesn’t allow the same mistake to happen again. Since small arguments don’t get buried, they never mushroom into huge problems down the road.
Where he began
A woman can really mess up her husband’s connection to his parents, siblings, and childhood friends when she tries to control how he spends time with them.
A good wife readily accepts that her partner comes with a full history of prior connections. She knows her husband didn’t break up with his high school sweetheart or abandon his cousins to spend more time with her, so she keeps that in mind when he needs some alone time with them.
She supports his connections with his most important people, provided he treats her and their shared family time with respect.
Beyond payday
No issue dooms more relationships than money. 9 times out of 10, it’s because the couple is living in two totally different secret financial worlds.
A great wife sees the family budget as one singular vehicle that moves them towards their long term vision. There are weekly finance meetings where she syncs up their spending habits with the realistic goals they both set together.
She knows that living beyond their means is just causing unnecessary stress. She doesn’t want the home they worked hard to build to feel like it’s falling apart every time savings take a hit.
The right question
All husbands experience times where work or life has overwhelmed them. During these times, most wives want to help solve the issue immediately by throwing out logistical ideas and solutions while assessing the problem.
But a great wife knows how to recognize when her husband isn’t looking for solutions but instead just needs to vent. She checks in, asking if he’s looking to let off steam for a while or wants her to pitch in with ideas.
This understanding lets him fully express his feelings without the pressure to find solutions or defend his choices.
Separate wings
When one spouse outsources their drive, sense of fun, and sense of self to their partner the relationship becomes suffocated.
A great wife has her own career ambitions, separate friends, and hobbies that she’s passionate about well past the honeymoon phase.
Not only does this allow her to stay fresh and bring new ideas to the relationship, it also means she never expects him to be her everything because she finds that within herself.
The safe place
How a wife talks about her husband to friends, family, or co-workers immediately establishes everyone’s perception of him.
A wonderful wife will allow social gatherings to be a platform to sincerely compliment how hard her husband works, how honest he is, or how smart he is. Not only does this raise his esteem around others but it’ll also encourage him.
What she discusses privately about his shortcomings, career woes, or anxiety becomes information that she will never broadcast as angry gossip or venting during a public conversation.
Her protective nature will forge a sense of trust that his reputation is safe with her.
Say it clearly
You shouldn’t have to hint to your partner that you want them to do the dishes or pick your daughter up from school early. Couples that rely on hints at your home life are going to drive each other absolutely crazy.
A good wife asks what she wants when she wants it. She tells her husband what she needs done and by when, plain and simple. There’s no attitude attached to her requests because running a household should feel like running a successful business.
Everything in the home needs to get done by someone who has time to do it.
Without resistance
Emotional safety in a marriage means that your partner can say something is bothering them without you blowing up.
If her husband approaches her about something that needs improvement between the two of them, whether it be their daily schedule, intimacy, or communication, she listens intently without getting defensive.
She pays attention to the issue at hand instead of launching an argument of her own about how he screwed up last week. And she never makes him feel unheard or uncared for when he tries to help better themselves for the sake of their marriage.
Laughter remains
Life is tough sometimes. Between mortgages, careers, and children couples can sometimes become solely serious and transactional with each other.
The great wife fights hard for moments of playful teasing, ridiculous inside jokes, and laugh-filled conversations.
She values that reconnecting with each other on a goofy level is something that will keep them from becoming business partners or housemates.
Silent and rough seasons
She recognizes that unexpected challenges can sometimes hit her and her husband.
Whether it is the death of a parent or losing a job or even getting bad news from the doctor both may take awhile to fully process what happened. She knows that even though she wants to talk talk talk, he may just need to sit with his feelings or work through things with his hands or take some time away.
She won’t pressure him to express his emotions on her timeline or dismiss him as cold simply because he’s not weeping. By letting him grieve in his own way and on his own terms, she becomes his anchor when he’s struggling.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
