Teaching can be an unpredictable adventure, and sometimes, the classroom becomes a theater for the bizarre, the unexpected, and the downright hilarious. From students attempting stapler-induced theatrics to perplexing comments that leave teachers scratching their heads, these quotes we found on social media capture the lighter side of education. Join us in exploring these peculiar and comical moments from the world of teaching.
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“A 10th-grade student missed his end-of-year Geometry exam, so he came to take it on a make-up day. He and I were alone in the classroom, and I left the door open. As I expected, he failed the exam. He begged me to give him a passing grade regardless, but I refused, so he poured on the drama. He grabbed the stapler off my desk and threatened to staple himself unless I changed his grade. This wasn’t dramatic enough, so he whipped off his shirt, held the stapler in front of his bare chest, and stared at it intently as if he was getting up his nerve. I was a first year teacher and speechless.
Another teacher walked by and yelled, ‘you put that stapler down and put your shirt back on right now!’ He did as she said and ran out the room. I was thankful, but embarrassed!”
Well, I guess desperation breeds creativity. Who knew geometry could inspire a s****tease performance involving a stapler?
“Little girl bursts into my room excitedly with a big smile, ‘Mrs. Vines! My mom is going to have a baby!’ I give her a hug and say, ‘That’s wonderful!’ She continues, ‘Dad says we can’t push her down the stairs because she might fall on her stomach and hurt the baby.’ I probably sat stunned for several seconds processing that before I asked, ‘Why would you push your mom down the stairs?’
She says, ‘My sister jumped on her back to surprise her, and they both fell down the stairs, but they were ok’.
Ok, THAT I could picture happening a lot more easily than this sweet, mild little girl pushing her mom down the stairs for fun.”
Ah, the innocence of youth! In her world, pushing Mom down the stairs is just an unconventional way to surprise her.
“There was this exchange between a 9-year-old boy and myself as I was introducing a puzzle assembly task: Me: Do you like puzzles? Boy: No, I rip apart live frogs. (Said as casually as if he was telling me he’d had cornflakes for breakfast)”
Well, that escalated quickly! Forget puzzles; this kid has a future in biology or maybe horror movies.
“Several years ago, I taught on the 3rd floor. About a half dozen times, a student went to my desk as I was at the door before the bell, took my water bottle off my desk, went to the window in the back of the room and threw it out onto the parking lot (usually hitting someone’s car). Finally I decided to coat the clear plastic water bottle with super glue. Caught him red-handed. A quick call to security and it never happened again. Is that weird enough for you?”
There’s really nothing super glue can’t do! Practical problem-solving at its finest.
“The delinquent who tried to get me to say ‘glazed donuts’ because apparently beating up someone who said that phrase was part of his gang initiation?”
Donuts as gang initiation? Why do they have to ruin everything!
“I had a very bright, but somewhat “goth” student who informed me during a lab that he had pierced one of his ni**les. He then declared, ‘You can lick it for a dollar.’ I shot back, ‘No thanks, I’m not interested and I don’t need the money, so you can keep your dollar.’ I had a lot of fun pretending I didn’t understand his attempts to explain that I was supposed to pay him for the privilege.”
Well, that’s one way to earn extra pocket money.
“I once had a guy ask me, ‘Why do you keep trying to teach us stuff we don’t know?'”
Ah, the age-old mystery of education! Teaching stuff you already know is the first rule of teaching, right?
“One year a student put a raw steak in a desk and it sat there for like 2 weeks before anyone noticed. Needless to say they had to clear out and clean the whole room.”
When you’re trying to age your steak but forget it in your desk instead of the fridge. That’s a gourmet classroom experience right there!
“The only time I ever lost it with a pupil was when I was talking to a girl about her behavior and she arrogantly replied ‘ you can’t tell me what to do, I know where you live ‘. This was obviously meant as a veiled threat. She was utterly shocked when I marched her to the [Principal’s] office. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so angry either.”
Somehow, we don’t think she wants to come over to paint his house.
“A class discussion was going on, and, out of nowhere, a boy turned to the girl on his right and announced, in a loud voice, ‘You stink. You must be on your period.’ The poor girl burst into tears. People five classrooms away heard me ordering the boy to go to the office. Then, I immediately took the girl to our good guidance counselor, who gave her a private place to stay and a comforting ear.”
Ah, the class clown strikes again with a comment that stinks worse than anything ever could. The teacher deserves a medal for rapid response.
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