Narcissists use gaslighting to manipulate their partners into questioning their own reality and sanity. You may not notice it immediately, but gaslighting will chip away at your self-worth and your understanding of reality while eventually taking away your joy. As per mental health experts at Healthline, here are 16 ways narcissistic partners gaslight you to leave you confused, insecure, and trapped in a cycle that’s difficult to break.
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Chip away at your confidence
They drop little digs and backhanded compliments that make you doubt yourself. Before you know it, you don’t feel sure about anything.
Change the past to fit their story
They insist things “never happened” or “you’re remembering wrong” when you know they did. It’s a way of making you question your own sanity.
Make you question your reality
They lie and distort things so much that you start to question your own sanity. Eventually, you don’t trust your memory of things anymore.
Constantly shift blame onto you
No matter what happens, they always find a way to blame you. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions, even when it’s clear they’re at fault.
Claim you’re “too sensitive”
If you try to express how you feel, they’ll say you’re overreacting or being too emotional. Eventually, you stop bringing things up altogether.
Keep you in a constant fog
Their words and actions are inconsistent, which leaves you feeling perplexed all the time. You end up putting in so much more effort to try to understand what’s real and what’s not.
Flat out deny things
They’ll even deny something you saw them do in front of your face. It’s infuriating, and you begin to feel utterly powerless.
Invalidate your feelings
They make you feel like your concerns are stupid or unimportant. Before long, you start to ignore your own feelings to avoid conflict.
Play the victim
Even when they’re in the wrong, they’ll twist it so you feel like you’re the one who’s been wronged. You end up apologizing for their behavior.
Turn on the charm when it suits them
They can be abusive one minute and sweet, loving, and caring the next. It keeps you hoping that the “good version” will return.
Alienate you from family and friends
They make you doubt your own people or cause fights, so you end up isolated. Once you’re cut off, they have even more control over you.
Control how others see the relationship
They tell outsiders a totally different story that makes you look like the bad guy. Then, when you try to explain, no one believes you.
Keep you walking on eggshells
You fear upsetting them, so you tiptoe around things all the time. This keeps you stuck in the relationship and always trying to please.
Minimize their bad behavior
When confronted, they’ll say, “Relax, it was just a joke” or “You’re overreacting”. They make you feel crazy for having normal reactions.
Project their own behavior onto you
They accuse you of all the things they’re doing. Cheating? Lying? Being selfish? It’s an intense mind game that keeps you on the defensive.
Keep you chasing their approval
They’re always changing the rules, so you’re left working harder and harder to be “good enough”. You’re exhausted, and they never seem to be satisfied.
Source: Healthline
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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