The Great Mom Debate – Motherhood, Stress, and Taking a Breath

Tired mother holding an infant.

In a recent social media post, a young mother sparked a spirited debate by sharing her experiences and seeking opinions on a contentious topic.

The original poster (OP), a 20-year-old mother of triplets, found herself unexpectedly thrust into the role of a parent.

The Weight Of Responsibilities

Initially, becoming a mother to triplets was the furthest thing from OP’s mind.

Juggling the demands of childcare and her education, which OP had to transfer to an online platform, became OP’s new reality.

In her honest account, OP shared the challenges she faced when her babies cried incessantly and how it often left her feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

OP admitted that during these moments, she found solace in taking a few minutes to step outside for some fresh air and calm down.

Assuring her audience of the safety measures in place, OP revealed that her apartment’s main floor location allowed her to be just a few steps away from her babies.

Additionally, OP had set up a baby monitor with a camera, enabling her to see and hear her infants at all times.

OP also states that her fiancé is usually busy at work or in school. So, he offers little to no help in taking care of the children.

The Conflict

One day, as OP’s fiancé arrived home, he discovered her sitting outside near the door. Simultaneously, they could hear the sound of their children crying from inside the house.

Without fully comprehending the situation, OP’s fiancé became upset and accused OP of negligence. He even questioned her abilities as a mother, insinuating that she had endangered their children.

To make matters worse, he proceeded to share these negative perceptions with his parents and others, tarnishing OP’s reputation in their eyes.

Feeling perplexed and heartbroken, OP sought the support of the online community to evaluate her circumstances and seek guidance regarding whether she had done anything wrong.

Balancing Self-Care and Infant Care

As the discussion unfolded, online users expressed varying opinions on the matter.

Important-Lawyer-350, drawing from her experience as a parent, emphasized the advice given by nurses during postpartum visits.

The user shared the importance of taking a brief break when feeling overwhelmed, highlighting the significance of maintaining one’s composure to prevent potential harm to both parent and child.

These words struck a chord with many, who acknowledged the challenges of parenting and the need for self-care.

CrimsonKnight_004 also supported OP’s actions, citing

“What you’re doing is preventing shaken baby syndrome. When the caregiver is overwhelmed, you need to step away for a few minutes to collect yourself and breathe. Center yourself, calm down, do what you need to do.”

The user further noted that as long as the babies were monitored and the duration of separation was not excessive, there was nothing inherently wrong with OP’s approach.

Ready_South_6727 questioned the OP’s fiance’s lack of support, suggesting that he should be actively looking for ways to assist.

“They teach in parenting classes to step away if it’s overwhelming as long as the baby ain’t gonna be harmed. Is the significant other just ignorant or just doesn’t care to step up his/her game to help?”

Namesaretoohardforme criticized OP’s fiance’s reaction, emphasizing the need for support rather than blame during challenging times.

The user highlighted that nurturing a positive and empathetic environment was crucial for successful parenting.

ChiefTuk offered an expert perspective, debunking the accusations made against the young mother.

The user stated that the babies were safe and just seconds away, with monitoring systems in place.

The user stressed that taking a break during moments of frustration was a recommended strategy by experts, as it prevented long-term harm and decreased the risk of shaken baby syndrome.

Lastly, Petunia-pitbull passionately defended OP’s actions, commending her for recognizing her own limits and taking a few moments for herself.

“You are being a GOOD parent by recognizing when you are reaching a breaking point and taking a moment to yourself. Your partner and their family are being ridiculous. Everyone needs a moment alone away from their babies, 5-10 mins alone is nothing. Once the babies are in a safe environment, fed and cleaned there is absolutely no harm in walking away for a few moments’ breathing space.”

The Verdict

The majority of commenters emphasized the importance of acknowledging that parenting is a unique journey for each person, and the challenges faced by one individual may not be fully understood by others.

Striking a balance between self-care and infant care is a profoundly personal decision that necessitates careful consideration of both the parent’s mental well-being and the safety of the child.

In this particular case, OP demonstrated a responsible approach by employing monitoring systems and staying close to ensure the security of her babies.

At the same time, OP’s fiancé needs to actively support her and his children, a responsibility he seems to be running away from currently.

Ultimately, what holds the utmost significance is the well-being of both the mother and her children as they navigate the intricacies of parenthood.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think the OP from this social media post was wrong?

Featured Image Credit: AndrewLozovyi /

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

Like our content? Be sure to follow us.

DISCLOSURE: The post may contain affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase using these links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. You can read our affiliate disclosure in our privacy policy. This site is not intending to provide financial advice. This is for entertainment only.

Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.