Thanks But No Thanks Giving – A Family Feud Over Grandchild Labels

upset daughter looking at her mother.

In a heart-wrenching social media post, an individual shares her anguish over her parents’ hurtful remarks about her children and her brother’s newborn baby.

The original poster (OP), a 32-year-old woman, found herself questioning her parents’ view of her children, who are not biologically related to her but have become her own through love and devotion.

Having been in a loving relationship with her wife, Ava, for eight years, OP stepped into the role of a parental figure to Ava’s three children from a previous relationship.

For nearly six years, OP has nurtured and cared for them, while they affectionately address her as “mom.”

Parents’ Insensitive Remark Ruins Thanksgiving

Everything seemed harmonious within the family until her brother, Ivan, and his fiancé, Sara, welcomed a baby girl into the world.

The arrival of the new member stirred feelings of joy, but also unearthed a painful revelation during a family gathering.

OP’s parents openly referred to her brother’s baby as their “first grandchild,” inadvertently excluding the children she lovingly raised.

Sara, displaying remarkable empathy, tried to defuse the situation by suggesting they meant “first grandbaby” rather than “first grandchild.”

However, the parents stood their ground, asserting that OP’s children were not truly their grandchildren because of the lack of shared DNA.

The comment struck a chord with OP’s children, particularly the youngest daughter, who felt hurt by the blatant dismissal of their bond.

OP, determined to protect her children from such hurtful comments, made a bold decision:

OP canceled the Thanksgiving plans with her parents, suggesting they could host their own meal with their “real” family

A Family Divided

OP’s brother, Ivan, criticized her for reacting too harshly and not understanding their parents.

OP’s mother also left several messages for OP sharing their love of OP’s kids; however, she repeated that it is only a fact that the kids are not their real grandchildren.

Further, OP’s mother suggested that she is spoiling the first Thanksgiving of her newborn niece.

While OP stands by everything she said, OP was now confused and asked the online community if her reaction was too harsh.

When Love is Measured by Blood

Users on social media were quick to rally behind her, showing their support for the courageous stand OP took.

One commenter, dart1126, hailed OP’s sister-in-law’s (Sara) attempt to mitigate the situation and expressed sympathy for OP.

They deemed the parents’ response “extremely unfortunate” and regretful.

Dublos chimed in, asserting that the parents were “deeply wrong,” leaving no room for ambiguity.

On a similar note, another user, AZJHawk, called the parents’ behavior sad and unthoughtful and fully supported OP’s reaction.

“That was a really sad thing [for] your parents to think, let alone say, let alone say in front of your kids. You are completely justified in your reaction. If it were me, I don’t know if it is something that could be fixed with a simple apology.”

User Hyacathusarullistad passionately denounced the parents’ actions, highlighting the hypocrisy in allowing the children to call them grandparents for years, only to renounce the title when a biological grandchild arrived.

The user empathized with the heartbreak experienced by OP’s children and suggested reconsidering the level of contact the grandparents should have with them.

SlinkyMalinky20 expressed shock at the parents’ decision to double down on their stance and marveled at their audacity to claim concern for the new baby’s first Thanksgiving, while undermining the older kids’ feelings.

The user called on the OP to stand firm and protect her family from such hurtful behavior.

“Hold the line and protect your family. Your parents and brothers are being beyond hurtful and they don’t seem to care.”

Fun-Dimension5196 provided a powerful summary of the situation, emphasizing the injustice of letting children call someone Nana and Pop for years and then abruptly denying their status as grandchildren.

The Verdict

The prevailing sentiment among users remained one of unwavering support for OP’s decision to prioritize her children’s emotional well-being.

In essence, this tale of Thanksgiving turmoil has opened the floodgates for discussions about the evolving nature of family in today’s society.

As families come together in various forms, be it through marriage, adoption, or step-parenting, the traditional definitions of kinship are being challenged.

Love, care, and commitment have proven to be powerful agents that bind people together and create strong familial bonds, irrespective of shared DNA.

As the internet buzzes with debates over this emotional saga, one can’t help but reflect on the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy family dynamics.

Hurtful comments, even if unintended, can leave scars that may take a long time to heal.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think the OP from this social media post was wrong?

Featured Image Credit: AlexLipa /

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.