The Dark Ages is definitely a time you’d rather not visit, what with all the plagues, non-existent living standards & a serious lack of Wi-Fi! However, the period had some rather wild and wacky stories that’ll make you think twice about how “dark” it really was. Here are ten strange but true tales from the Dark Ages. Forget about knights in shining armor and damsels in distress—it’s time to hear about trials by hot iron and Viking rap battles!
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Trial by Ordeal
During the Dark Ages, if you were accused of stealing a goat, you had to pick up a red-hot iron bar instead of going to court. If your hand healed nicely, that meant you’re innocent! If not, then better luck next time. This was called trial by ordeal and it was a method where guilt or innocence was determined by undergoing a painful (often dangerous) test. To people at this time, it meant allowing the divine to step in & show who was in the right.
The Corpse Trials
Speaking of trials, some people were so mad at their neighbors that they put them on trial after they died. If someone died under suspicious circumstances or owed money, their body could be dug up & put in court. They took debts and crimes far more seriously than we do today. It really didn’t matter if the accused couldn’t defend themselves.
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Animal Trials
Sadly, people weren’t the only ones who could end up in court as animals could too. There are various accounts of pigs, cows & even insects being tried and punished for various crimes. Back then, people were trying to make sense of natural disasters or unfortunate events by seeking justice. This included blaming animals.
The Werewolf Trials
Before people were obsessed with hunting witches, some were on the lookout for werewolves. In fact, people in the Dark Ages actually held trials for people they suspected could turn into wolves. Many of these so-called werewolves ended up facing some horrible consequences. For example, one guilty “werewolf” was tied to a cart and his skin was burned off. They then decapitated him.
The Royal Touch
According to beliefs at the time, kings and queens had the power to just touch something to fix it. They were thought to heal people, especially those suffering from scrofula, just by laying hands on them. It was known as the “royal touch.” At the time, royalty, religion & medicine were strongly connected and people thought the royals were directly related to God.
Viking Rap Battles
We mostly know Vikings for raiding & sailing but they had a softer side for poetry. They took part in “flyting,” a sort of verbal duel where they’d insult each other in verse. Really, it was the original rap battle. Vikings clearly had a strong passion for clever words & sharp wit. There’s much more to them than just their fearsome reputation!
Knights Fighting Snails
If you look through some medieval manuscripts, you might find illustrations of knights fighting snails. No one’s entirely sure why they drew these pictures. According to some people, it was a symbol of the struggles of the common man, while others believe it was just medieval artists having a bit of fun. Either way, it’s clear that people back then had a sense of the absurd!
Bearded Ladies of the Dark Ages
Women with beards would be in serious trouble during the Dark Ages. People thought women with beards were witches—so they had them tried for witchcraft. Evidently, appearances mattered back then just as much as they do today. The fear of witchcraft involved more than spells & potions. They also involved challenging societal norms, even in something as simple as facial hair.
The Mystery of Left-Handedness
Being left-handed in the Dark Ages was also dangerous because left-handedness was associated with witchcraft and dealings with the devil. If you were a lefty, people would be suspicious of you right off the bat. Sadly, it wasn’t until the late 20th century that people’s fear of lefties mostly disappeared.
Mooning as a Form of Protest
Weirdly enough, showing your backside as a form of protest isn’t a modern invention. Back in the Dark Ages, it wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to drop their trousers and moon the enemy as a way to taunt them. Toilet humor transcends time! Even in the middle of the “dark” ages, people found ways to make their lives a little more light-hearted.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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