Sure, everyone needs support every now and then: a friend to talk to about your issues, a bit of career advice, some tech support to help you get the latest app on your phone. But when your support system becomes a source of permanent dependence, it can interfere with a sense of independence.
As you become more and more reliant on others, you might start to doubt your own capabilities and accomplishments. I’m not talking about the kind of love and friendship that support and nurture us, I’m referring to co-dependency, in which someone’s lack of self-sufficiency means they are left prey to others’ control. Here are 10 signs that could mean you’re becoming too dependent on others.
Featured Image Credit: Pexels.com.
You Struggle to Make Decisions Alone
From selecting what to eat for dinner to asking everyone if you should fix your pedicure, relying on others for direction can slowly start to feel overbearing. Perhaps you fear that you inevitably make the wrong decision – or maybe you simply begin to believe that others know what they’re doing and you don’t. Whichever case (and probably both), the habit infiltrates your way of being.
What began as an occasional and innocuous practice gradually creeps into your conscience until, unbeknownst to you, you are no longer in control.
You Seek Constant Validation
If people need others to confirm that they looked good, worked well or took the right action, it can be draining. You might stop trusting yourself and your own feelings and sensations. And if you’ve been conditioned for long enough, you might find that you can’t feel good unless you’re being praised.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
You Avoid Being Alone
If you find the prospect of spending any time by yourself – even a little while – anxiety-provoking or just uncomfortable, you might be becoming a little too woven into other people’s tents. You might be feeling a bit uneasy when there’s no one to chat with or to give you a hug when you’re down. This way, you’re always trying to dodge loneliness and might never get to learn how to be your own best companion and become self-reliant.
You Constantly Need Help with Simple Tasks
Whether or not it’s taking care of your appointments, cooking dinner or small tasks – if you ask others to do things for you too often, you might feel as if others have a hold of you. Everything just gets done for you and is managed by other people. This can also make you feel that you can’t do things by yourself, and therefore, you can’t live your daily life independently either.
You Rely on Others to Make You Feel Happy
If you aren’t finding a sense of happiness and satisfaction in your own space and time, you’ve probably entrusted too much of your emotional wellbeing to the people around you. If the presence of another person or constant validation from others becomes a crutch, you will feel sad to be alone.
You have to feel good in your own skin in order to embrace your emotional independence.
You Avoid Responsibility
Do you habitually avoid claiming your part in something you’ve done? Then you’re chronically over-dependent. By letting others lead the way, you’re turning your back on the very skills and self-confidence that come from dealing with problems in your own life. You’re also asking people who love you or who work with you to shoulder more than their share of the load.
You Fear Disappointing Others
When you’re working too hard to please others, you’ll have some tell-tale signs — you’ll fret about disappointing them, you’ll always feel like you’re chasing their approval and you’ll make certain decisions based on their desire. All this because you feel like you’ll disappoint them.
In the process, you lose your own identity, trapped in someone else’s idea of who you should be. Being too invested in others’ opinions prevents you from living your own truth. Stop trying to win approval of your choices and values from someone else, and live your own life.
You Struggle to Voice Your Own Opinions
You might fear that speaking up will create conflict, so you ultimately remain silent and go along with the status quo. This can inhibit you from developing your own inner authority and your capacity to speak up and stand behind your convictions. Over time, this can make you feel shriveled and neglected, as though you have no inherent value or inner voice of your very own.
You Frequently Cancel or Reschedule Plans to Align with Others
If you’re always accommodating other people’s plans or commitments at the expense of your own, that’s a problem. This will result in you losing your own interests because you no longer understand what they might be.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
Read More:
