We probably don’t recognize when we’re the toxic one in our friendship group. There are a bunch of things you could be doing that makes you the problem in your group. It could be that you demand all the attention or you don’t listen when your friends talk — a lot of actions may be hurtful to your friends.
So, how can you know if you are the toxic friend? Here are 12 of the most common actions that is making you the nasty friend in your clique.
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You Constantly Compete with Others
Once in a while, when your friends do something great, it’s only natural to want to give yourself a pat on the back and let them know you did something impressive too. But if you are constantly saying you’d do it better or your story is equally impressive, chances are you are making people feel like you are trying to outdo their achievements or boost your ego by competing with them.
This is really unhealthy, and completely self-centered.
You Only Call When You Need Something
When you only reach out during tough times or need a favor – your friends might feel used. They’re not just there to serve your needs. You should give equal amounts of support and time to your friends.
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You Gossip or Share Secrets
If you friend told you a secret and then you shared it with other people – you are breaking their trust. Once trust is broken – it is very hard to remain close.
You Dismiss Their Feelings
Don’t blow off your friends’ feelings. When a friend says they are upset about something and you dismiss it as no big deal – they will likely not share their feelings again. Real friends should listen and be there for each other.
You Create Drama
If you cause lots of drama or start arguments, your friends will get tired of you – because it takes a lot of their mental energy and could lead to stress. Friendships should be fun and peaceful – forget the drama & conflicts.
You’re Always Negative or Critical
To become judgmental, to become too entangled in negative feelings is destructive. If you constantly remind your friends of their imperfections, they will lose their confidence. Real friends are positive and encouraging — not negative and uncaring.
You Don’t Respect Boundaries
If you don’t give your friends their space, it can make you less useful or toxic to them. For instance, if a friend asks you to leave them a little space but you still keep coming and talking to them, you are intruding. Having a healthy relationship is having the patience to understand each other’s limits.
You Get More Than You Give
If you are constantly demanding, but never giving, something isn’t right. If you are never around when your friends need you, your friends might feel exploited. Healthy relationships work both ways.
You Always Want Attention or Support
Anyone who’s always the spotlight can strain friendships – with a perpetual need for approval, either with praise or assurance. A great friendship is one where both individuals are secure and respected without requiring them to seek it.
You Change Plans or Don’t Show Up On Time
Beyond forgetting about something from time to time, repeatedly changing your plans or coming late for no reason is disrespectful of your friend’s time. If you tend to disappoint your friends or waste their free time, you’re doing them a disservice. When it comes to being a good friend, you should strive to be someone they can trust and count on as a friend to them.
You Manipulate or Control Others
Exerting guilt or emotional pressure to gain your way has lasting consequences for the relationship as well. Not in a good way! Authentic friendships are founded on trust and sincerity, and friends in a good relationship would never manipulate each other.
You Do Not Apologize or Take Responsibility
If you don’t apologize to your friends when you offend them or fail to be accountable, then it will not go well with your friendship. Not taking responsibility for your actions when you make mistakes or rectifying them proves that you are not respectful of your friends’ feelings.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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