Low self-worth doesn’t always come with dramatic signs and some people who seem confident on the outside might still carry a feeling that they’re not good enough. Such feelings show up in small habits most people don’t think twice about, whether that’s at work, in friendships, or just in everyday conversations. Here are ten signs of low self-worth that you may not recognize. They’re not always obvious, but when these patterns keep showing up, it usually means something is going on in the background.
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They Apologize for Things That Aren’t Their Fault
People with low self-worth often say “sorry” even when there’s nothing to be sorry about—if someone bumps into them, they’ll say “sorry,” and if they ask a question in class or at work, they might start with “Sorry to bother you.” They’ll even apologize for things they can’t control and it’s not simply because they’re trying to be polite. They constantly feel like they’re taking up too much space or being a burden, so, over time, apologizing becomes automatic for them.
They Feel Awkward When People Are Kind to Them
Some people don’t know what to do when someone’s nice to them and giving them a compliment results in a laugh or their changing the subject. They’ll avoid eye contact or argue with the compliment and say the opposite, which is a kind of reaction that happens even with simple kindness. They don’t know how to sit with kindness because it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, despite the fact that nothing bad is actually happening.
They Downplay Accomplishments Even When Asked Directly
Likewise, when they do something impressive, they might act like it wasn’t a big deal and will respond with things like, “Yeah, I guess I just got lucky,” or they’ll say, “It’s not really a big thing.” They avoid letting anyone celebrate them too much and will shift the conversation to something else, because they don’t think they’ve done anything special. It makes them uncomfortable to be seen as someone who has succeeded at something.
They Over-Explain Simple Decisions
When someone over-explains things that don’t need much explanation, it usually means they think they’ll be judged and that’s why they’ll explain their reasoning for ordering a plain sandwich, for example. They’ll say things like, “I know it’s weird, but I just like it this way,” or “Sorry, this is probably boring” because they want to control how they’re being seen. They feel like they have to defend their personal choices in case someone disagrees, despite nobody actually questioning them.
They Try Too Hard to Seem “Chill” About Everything
Someone with low self-worth often says they’re fine even when they’re not and they’ll keep their feelings of being upset to themselves because they don’t want to make things awkward. They avoid talking about how they feel because they think they’ll sound needy or annoying—instead, they always want to come across as easygoing. Sometimes, this means swallowing their own feelings, so they’ll go along with things just to avoid conflict or attention.
They Ask for Permission When It’s Not Needed
This kind of person will ask things like, “Is it okay if I go now?” or “Can I say something?” even when they’re already allowed to do those things or if it’s during a more relaxed situation. It’s a habit that forms over time when someone feels like they need approval for everything they do—don’t be surprised to see them asking at restaurants or with close friends. They have a deep-seated belief that their presence is unwelcome unless someone else gives the green light.
They Use Self-Deprecating Humor Constantly
Self-deprecating jokes are fine once in a while, but some people use them all the time and they’ll call themselves lazy or say they’re “so dumb” in almost every conversation. It might make other people laugh but that’s not the goal of saying such things—they’re simply trying to beat others to the punch. It feels a lot safer for them to say something negative about themselves first because it helps them to take control of the narrative. The humor becomes a shield that they’ll use when no one’s teasing them.
They Freeze When Asked Open-Ended Questions
If you ask an insecure person how their weekend was or what they want to do later, they’ll suddenly seem unsure and will quickly turn the question around with something like, “What about you?” or “I don’t know—whatever you want.” The issue is that they’re not used to being asked and may feel their answers aren’t worth sharing. They feel more comfortable listening than talking and it doesn’t matter when someone’s clearly trying to include them.
They Over-Prepare for Minor Things
You’ll sometimes meet people who spend way too long getting ready for things that don’t really need prep—they’ll rehearse what to say in a text, then write & rewrite it five times. They’ll make notes before a phone call that’s only meant to last a few minutes because they think they’ll mess it up if they don’t get it just right. Although doing this takes a lot of time & energy, it doesn’t feel optional for them because they think any small mistake will make them look bad.
They Feel Uncomfortable Choosing Where to Eat
When a group’s deciding on food, people with low self-worth often say, “I’m fine with anything,” or “Whatever you want is okay,” and won’t share any preferences they might have. They don’t want to be blamed if someone else doesn’t like the choice, so they might say yes to sushi, despite the fact that they hate raw fish. For them, holding back an opinion is normal since they fear it could make things worse, so they try to avoid any extra attention.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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