You won’t find a simple magic trick to know if she’s the right one for the long haul, but minor everyday signs might point the way.
The stress test
If you want to know how well your partner will do in the long run, try brushing up against some chaos and see how she responds to a canceled flight, flat tire, lost dinner reservation.
Does she freak out, shut down, or try to make you feel guilty for ruining her night? Or she doesn’t falter, and instead, tackles the chaotic situation like a shared challenge for two level-headed individuals.
If she has high emotional intelligence, she is able to tolerate your frustration in high-stress situations. And it also shows that she won’t blow small everyday problems out of proportion and risk destroying your relationship.
Hungry minds
Your partner will inevitably have different interests than you. However, what you should match on is intellectual curiosity.
When you mention something new that you learned, read about, or found interesting she picks up on your excitement, asks questions and shares her own insights on the topic.
Humans naturally get bored over time and one of the key elements to a partner that you will not grow bored with is someone who has the desire to learn and grow with you.
Alignment
Relationships are not about finding someone who matches you perfectly. They are about finding someone whose  strengths and weaknesses fit naturally with your own.
Your minor habits, especially when you’re not fully present, don’t send her anxieties into overdrive. While you might act on impulse, she remains level-headed.
You have the things she lacks, and vice versa. Your shortcomings don’t fuel a negatively-reactive cycle.
Curious
Your partner knows you aren’t the same person you were on day one. She doesn’t cling to an old version of you from the beginning of your relationship.
Each year, she takes note of the small evolutions in you. She recognizes when your goals shift, work stressors come and go, and when your taste in food/music/style changes.
She keeps things interesting by acknowledging your growth and staying eager to discover who you’re becoming. And she knows you as your best present-day self.
No cheap shots
She gives you clean breaks when she’s disappointed in your behavior.
Rather than resorting to broad, hurtful statements, she’ll pinpoint the specific action causing her distress. She makes sure to steer clear of sarcasm, blame, or contempt when kicking off a serious talk.
She presents problems as something you can solve together. This means every disagreement with her will actually build you up, rather than leaving you to heal from emotional damage.
Freedom given
Your partner doesn’t feel threatened by your friendships, hobbies, or career aspirations. She doesn’t keep tabs on how much time you spend with friends, fueled by small-minded envy.
She wants you to do the things that help you feel like your best self, as an individual. And this secure attachment style lets you both keep your separate selves, steering clear of a codependent dynamic.
Past tense
If you two work through an issue or harmless mistake, she really lets it go and doesn’t forgive you with resentment.
She’s not the type to tally up past wrongs and then weaponize them during a completely different argument months down the line.
This quality is incredibly valuable as it prevents holding onto negative bitterness that can poison your relationship and make your past mistakes haunt you forever.
More than tolerance
She doesn’t just tolerate you. There’s a huge foundational difference between someone who tolerates you and someone who fully allows you to be yourself.
She affirms your own intuition about what’s right for you, your confidence in your life decisions, and your natural knack for handling life’s complexities.
There’s no need to bite your tongue, filter your words, or act a part to keep her content.
Comfortable quiet
When you’re with her, your nervous system just completely relaxes.
You could spend a whole Sunday engrossed in separate tasks or driving together without exchanging more than a handful of words, and it would feel perfectly natural.
She doesn’t put any pressure on you to make her laugh or stop her from being bored or perform in any specific way. She always responds to your small, spontaneous bids for connection.
Small openings
You say something completely insignificant like a weird-looking vehicle, an article title or a random thought and she notices instead of brushing you off or muttering into her phone.
Science confirms that these small milliseconds of connection are literally the foundation of emotional intimacy.
The fact that she affirms your throwaway comments means she has a subconscious practice of caring what’s going on in your brain.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
