Overcoming Misogyny and Phobia: A Man’s Struggle Being Driven by a Woman

Man and woman in the picture. Woman has her arms crossed and looking sideways while the man is holding her from behind.

A single moment of terror can haunt someone for a lifetime, which is exactly what happened to a social media user.

When the original poster (OP) was just a child, an accident on the school bus left a permanent scar on the now 27-year-old OP’s psyche.

He developed an intense phobia of being in a car driven by a woman that he still carries to this day. OP avoids this situation at all costs, even if it means taking a later bus or insisting on driving someone else’s car.

His girlfriend recently moved in with him and owns a car, which has put their relationship in a difficult position.

Whenever they go out together, OP demands to be the one behind the wheel, disregarding her concerns about feeling uncomfortable and his need to confront his phobia. She views OP’s behavior as deeply rooted in misogyny, while he insists that it’s just a phobia and that he applies the same rule to everyone, no matter the inconvenience.

He offered to take public transportation instead as a compromise, but she rejected this and urged him to “get over it” instead.

It’s a challenging situation to be in, and it’s understandable why his girlfriend feels frustrated.

Misogyny or Phobia?

Other social media users responded to the (original poster) OP’s post with an overwhelming and swift storm of comments.

DoraTheUrbanExplorer says, “You’re only hurting yourself by not addressing this.”

Seeking therapy could be helpful for the OP to understand and work through his phobia. Not only could therapy help OP overcome his fear, but it could also help him recognize any underlying misogynistic beliefs that may be influencing his behavior.

Other Reddit users pointed out the impracticality of the OP’s fear.

As LunchLady87 commented, “And public transit also has female drivers. What’s he do? Skip the bus and wait for the next one in an hour?”

This is a valid point, as OP is not just avoiding being driven by his girlfriend, but is also inconveniencing himself by avoiding public transit with female drivers.

Another user, discordany, wrote, “Not only that but… it may be a phobia, but it is also misogynistic. I get where the root is, but well over a decade has passed, and it’s time to get help for it.”

It is crucial to address the underlying beliefs and attitudes that contribute to this fear. If OP does not address his fear, he risks perpetuating harmful beliefs and attitudes toward women.

Sputflock commented, “Anyone wanna bet that if the driver that got him into the accident was a man, he would have no such issues with being driven by men?”

This raises the question of whether the OP’s fear is solely rooted in his traumatic experience or if there are deeper issues at play. If his fear is solely related to the accident, it may be possible for him to work through it with therapy. However, if his fear is also influenced by underlying sexist beliefs, it will take more work to address.

Gogogadgetrage gave credit to the OP’s past trauma but acknowledged that he is being sexist by refusing to be driven by women.

“I want to give some credit for the trauma and therapy issue, but there has to be misogyny for translating a woman driving to refusing to be in a car with women drivers. Especially considering 30 years ago, joking about woman drivers was all the rage. Girlfriend is right. He’s being sexist.”

It is essential to recognize that the OP’s fear, while valid, is affecting his girlfriend and potentially other women in his life.

Competitive-Menu-146 raised a practical concern, “What if u call an ambulance, and the ambulance is driven by a woman? I don’t think there will be time to wait for another one.”

This is an important point as it shows how the OP’s fear is not just impacting his day-to-day life but could potentially impact his health and safety in an emergency.

The Verdict

Considering his distressing childhood trauma, OP’s apprehension of being driven by women can be understood. Nevertheless, his fear seems to stem from a prejudiced attitude toward women.

Most users commenting on his situation suggested that seeking therapy to confront his phobia and deep-seated beliefs may prove advantageous for him and his loved ones.

Acknowledging and addressing such biases can foster personal growth and improve interpersonal relationships.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think OP from the social media post was in the wrong?

Featured Image Credit: VitalikRadko /Depositphotos.com.

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of AshandPri.com and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.