In a rapidly changing world, social norms and etiquette have evolved significantly over the years. What was once considered proper and polite may now seem outdated and unnecessary. While some old-school etiquette rules still hold value today, others have become obsolete. Let’s take a look at 11 old-school etiquette rules you can safely leave behind, along with three that remain as relevant as ever.
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#1 Don’t Wear White After Labor Day
The outdated rule: Avoid wearing white clothing after Labor Day.
Why you can let it go: The theory is that this rule started in the mid-1800s, when fashion was formal and white was considered a summer color. Fashion has since evolved to be a lot less fussy. Feel free to wear white, or any other color, whenever you like.
#2 Always Address People by Their Last Name
The outdated rule: Address everyone, even acquaintances, by their last name (e.g., Mr. Smith or Mrs. Johnson).
Why you can let it go: Casual settings often call for first names, and many people prefer it. Just be sure to gauge the formality of the situation.
#3 Wait for the Host to Start Eating
The outdated rule: Don’t start eating until the host begins.
Why you can let it go: It’s acceptable to start eating when your dish is served, allowing everyone to enjoy their meal while it’s hot.
#4 Send Handwritten Thank-You Notes
The outdated rule: Send handwritten thank-you notes for gifts or favors.
Why you can let it go: While handwritten notes are charming, digital thank-yous via email or text are widely accepted and more convenient.
#5 Stand When a Lady Leaves the Table
The outdated rule: Stand when a lady leaves or returns to the table.
Why you can let it go: This chivalrous gesture is no longer expected and can be seen as outdated or even patronizing.
#6 Always RSVP with a Formal Card
The outdated rule: RSVP to invitations using a formal reply card.
Why you can let it go: Most invitations now include online RSVP options, making it easier to respond promptly.
#7 Never Discuss Politics or Religion
The outdated rule: Avoid discussing politics or religion in polite company.
Why you can let it go: While heated debates are still best avoided, it’s okay to engage in thoughtful conversations on these topics when appropriate. Also, what else is there to talk about these days?
#8 Wear a tie and formals to dinner
The outdated rule: Always dress formally for dinner, even with the family.
Why you can let it go: It’s perfectly reasonable to want to be comfortable at dinner. Go ahead and eat in your pajamas if you’re at home.
#9 Always Use Formal Titles
The outdated rule: Address individuals by their formal titles (e.g., Doctor, Professor).
Why you can let it go: In casual settings, people often prefer to be addressed by their first name. Use titles when appropriate.
#10 Keep Your Phone Off at the Dinner Table
The outdated rule: Never use your phone at the dinner table.
Why you can let it go: Good luck getting anyone to sit at the dinner table in the first place. If you have kids, the phone will arrive before them.
#11 Always Bring a Hostess Gift
The outdated rule: Always bring a hostess gift when invited to someone’s home.
Why you can let it go: While it’s a nice gesture, it’s not mandatory, especially for casual gatherings. Express your gratitude in your own way.
Etiquette Rule #1 to Follow – Say “Please” and “Thank You”
The timeless rule: Always use polite language and express gratitude.
Why you should keep it: Being polite and showing appreciation will never go out of style.
Etiquette Rule #2 to Follow – Hold the Door for Others
The timeless rule: Hold doors for people when it’s courteous and convenient.
Why you should keep it: This small act of kindness is still appreciated by many.
Etiquette Rule #3 to Follow – Cover Your Mouth When You Cough or Sneeze
The timeless rule: Always cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
Why you should keep it: Basic hygiene and consideration for others remain essential.
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