Everyone seems to have an opinion on marriage and you’ve probably heard a bunch of stuff about what marriage is supposed to be like. Some of it might come from movies & some from nosy relatives. Either way, a lot of what we hear is more myth than fact. Let’s debunk some of these false truths about marriage and find out what’s really going on!
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Marriage Solves Relationship Problems
Some people seem to think that getting married means all your problems will just disappear—that’s not right. A marriage is like a magnifying glass, and if there were little cracks before, now they’re gonna look like canyons. You have to talk through your issues before you say “I do” because those issues are coming to the wedding, too. And they’ll stay with you after!
You’ll Always Feel In Love
Despite what you might’ve heard, it’s normal for those butterflies you felt when you first met to disappear. Love in marriage is more stable & reliable, even if it’s not always as thrilling. And that’s okay! Marriage involves the pair of you growing together to find new ways to connect. Your initial spark will evolve into something more steady & warm.
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Couples Must Share All Interests
Your partner loves model trains but you care more about salsa dancing—some people think that’s a problem. But it isn’t. Having your own interests is healthy because it gives you something unique to bring to the table & keeps things interesting. Sharing a few hobbies is great but so is having your own thing. The important part is that you respect each other’s passions.
Marriage Means No More Personal Space
The idea that saying “I do” means saying goodbye to your alone time is a big old myth. In fact, having some me-time is important for a healthy marriage as being whole on your own will make you a better partner. It doesn’t matter if you’re reading in silence or going for a solo run—that personal space helps your relationship to grow.
Good Marriages Don’t Require Work
You’ve probably heard people say, “If you’re with the right person, marriage is easy.” However, all marriages need effort, communication—and a whole lot of patience. The most beautiful relationships are the ones where both partners roll up their sleeves & get to work together. There’s no such thing as an easy marriage.
Children Strengthen All Marriages
Kids are wonderful but the idea that they’ll make any marriage stronger is false. Children bring as many sleepless nights & as much stress as they bring joy. In fact, it’s not the kids themselves that strengthen a relationship but how you work together as parents. Your teamwork & mutual support will make the bond stronger.
Financial Stability Guarantees a Happy Marriage
While having money in the bank is nice, it’s not a guarantee of marriage bliss. What really matters? Well, it’s how you handle money together that really counts. Are you savers, spenders, or a bit of both? You need to find some common ground & regularly talk about money. Money can’t buy love—but managing it well together can help keep the peace.
Successful Couples Never Argue
Arguing is part of marriage, although how you argue is more important than the arguing itself. Those couples who seem like they’ve got it all figured out have figured out how to fight fairly rather than be argument-free. You have to listen & understand your partner. And sometimes, you have to agree to disagree.
Marriage Will Make You Happy
You should never look to marriage as your sole source of joy. Of course, marriage should make you happy but it’s not a pleasure vending machine. Your well-being comes from a mix of things, including your personal achievements, friendships & hobbies. Don’t put all your eggs in the marriage basket—spread them around!
You Shouldn’t Go to Bed Angry
The idea that you should “never go to bed angry” is well-intentioned but not always practical. Sometimes, a good night’s sleep is exactly what you need to cool off. Instead of ignoring the issue, you’re giving yourself time to process & approach the problem with a clearer head. It’s okay to hit the pillow and revisit the discussion in the morning!
Your Spouse Should Be Your Best Friend
It’s great if your spouse is your bestie, although most people forget it’s not a must for a happy marriage. It’s totally fine to have close friends outside your marriage—in fact, it’s healthy. Those friendships can give you support & laughter from a different perspective. Your spouse should have a unique role in your life but they don’t have to be every role. It’s not a one-person show!
Marriage Doesn’t Change Anything
Sometimes, people who live together before marriage think that tying the knot won’t change a thing. However, that’s not true—marriage does change stuff. Your legal status changes as does your commitment to each other. Marriage also strengthens your connection to bring a new sense of security & unity with each other. As such, you should embrace these changes.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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