To know if she wants you to make the first move, you’ve got to pay close attention to those not-so-obvious signals.
The open posture
It’s a primal, subconscious gesture ingrained into our DNA that we only do when we’re around someone we feel 100% safe with and find extremely attracted to.
As she’s sitting beside you, pay attention to see if she rests her head to the side, fusses with jewelry, or props her chin on her hand with her palms facing you.
Body language experts call this exposing vulnerable pulse points a mammalian gesture of submission and trust. She’s not literally thinking about this, but her body is sending out a huge green signal and hoping you’ll catch on subconsciously.
Shared code
If someone is trying to establish closeness with you quickly, they will latch on to some random silly moment that happened between the two of you and build a private joke out of it.
Whether over text or in conversation, she’ll nonchalantly reference it in a way that nobody in your presence wouldn’t get. Not only is this playful, it’s an incredibly effective psychological technique of forming a contrived “us vs. everyone else” barrier.
Your girl is working to construct a private microculture between the two of you.
She is using the bond formed from this familiarity to take a leap of faith and ask you to join it on a romantic level.
This reminded me
This might not seem like much amid the daily deluge of digital content, but when someone actively seeks out something with you in mind, it’s a massive sign of subconscious consideration.
If she texts you a song by an underground artist, long read linked article, or some obscure meme that just has your name attached to it, she’s giving you insight into her brain.
It demonstrates that even when you’re not around, her mind naturally filters what she encounters based on your perspective.
She’s giving you a glimpse into her private thoughts, the ideal way to segue into asking her out.
Your opinion matters
Doesn’t the typical person keep casual friends at arm’s length by sticking to superficial talk? True, but if a woman wants you to get closer to her, she will welcome your opinion on her “self.”
Questions like “What did you think of me when we first met?” or “Was I too forward when I talked to that guy at work?” are her ways of handing control over the relationship to you.
If a woman asks for your approval, she’s subtly laying her heart on the table for you to decide if you two are relationship material.
A different introduction
Notice how she presents you to her friends and coworkers if you happen to run into each other in public.
She won’t simply say your name and generic job title. She’ll enthusiastically share a particular detail you mentioned, perhaps a distinct ability you possess, a past success, or even a story you recounted.
She is selling you to her friends and family. And this public display signals to her friends, and to you, that you hold a truly special and esteemed place in her thoughts.
The little reach
Leave your sunglasses, your keys, your jacket, or a pen sitting on the table between you two and observe how she handles them.
A woman attracted to you will have a hard time keeping her hands to herself; if she’s really into you she’ll absentmindedly twist your keys, push your glasses around or even pick up your jacket and shift it.
She can’t touch you, so she’ll touch things that are associated with you.
It’s subconscious proxy-tingling.
Crossing paths
When you start randomly seeing her at the coffee shop at odd hours, outside of your workplace, or at the gym while you’re doing your precise routines, it’s not random.
If a woman is staking out chances for you to ask her out, she will rationalize it by creating more opportunities for you to see her outside of, say, a normal date.
This way, she sidesteps the need for a formal invitation while creating endless openings for you to dive into a meaningful chat.
She’s picking up all the leg work, you just need to catch on.
The long goodbye
When a hang out or laid back phone conversation comes to an organic close, someone who only sees you as a friend will politely finish up and leave.
If she hesitates at her car, takes forever to walk you to the door, or begins asking the most random questions that lead nowhere as you’re about to say goodbye, she is battling the clock. She makes the moment longer than it should be because she doesn’t want to be apart from you.
And by extending the amount of time you’re together for as long as possible, she’s opening the opportunity for you to ask “Why don’t we continue this over dinner?”
In sync
She does this through a process known as emotional contagion. Emotional contagion reaches new heights when a woman is attracted to you.
You show up to meet her feeling utterly drained and barely making a sound. See how fast she adjusts her spirited demeanor to match your calmer energy. You arrive pumped and full of energy. And she instantly becomes energetic to match your level of energy.
Her quick, effortless mirroring of your mood shows that she cares about being in tune with you more than her own comfort at the moment.
Still single
Rather than complaining about men, she’ll humorously frame her single status as a conscious choice she’s eager to alter for the right person.
She might sigh about not having anyone to cook for these days, or how she’s lacking a date for an upcoming wedding but draws the line at swiping right on just anyone.
By reminding you that she is single, that she’s emotionally available, and that she won’t settle for less than a great partner, she can effectively eliminate any uncertainty.
She’s throwing a massive hook into the chat, expecting you to reel it in.
Out of reach
Notifications ping relentlessly at us nowadays. It’s a source of endless distraction that we’re addicted to and very rarely turn off voluntarily.
When she puts down her phone mid-task to put her phone screen fully face down on the table (or even into her purse when you two meet) she’s doing the digital equivalent of giving you her undivided attention.
She’s telling you that no emoji or group chat is worth more of her attention than the person in front of her. And she’s giving you her full focus so a connection can blossom.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
