You might think that workplace bullying involves yelling, slamming doors, or someone getting publicly humiliated in a meeting, but while that’s true, it’s not how it usually starts. Most of the time, it starts quietly with a few things people do (or don’t do) that make them seem like the easiest person to mess with—they usually have no idea it’s happening. These aren’t flaws or anything to be ashamed of, but in many offices, they tell other people that you won’t fight back. Here are ten habits that could make you stand out to the wrong people and invite workplace bullying.
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Jumping In to “Just Help Out”… Every Time
There’s always that awkward silence after someone says, “We need a volunteer,” and you probably hate that silence, so you fill it—you offer to take notes & sort the snacks. You’ll chase people down for signatures, even though no one else wants to do it, but when you’re always the first to step up, it starts to stick. People stop asking and they just expect you to take the scraps, which they don’t feel bad about, either.
Laughing When Someone Makes a Dig at You
When someone says something rude & you laugh along, you might be trying to keep it light—maybe it was kinda funny. But this shouldn’t be your immediate reaction every time because it trains them to keep going and the joke about your outfit turns into a jab about your work. Now it’s happening in front of the team and you’re still smiling through it, so they assume it’s fine, even though it’s really not.
Looking Down When Everyone Else Is Talking
During a meeting, people throw ideas around and you have something to say, but you’re looking at the table, or your screen, or that invisible spot in the distance. What you say could be smart, yet people won’t always hear it the same way because they read body language and your lack of confidence tells them way too much. Shrinking into the background all the time means that someone else might take that space for themselves.
Talking Too Much About Your Life Right Away
Trying to bond with coworkers usually feels like speed dating because you want them to like you, so you share a little story—maybe about your dog or your weird commute. However, this may soon turn into a habit that involves you telling people things they haven’t earned the right to hear, which soon backfires. All that stuff you told them could find its way into office jokes to make you the butt of the joke, and nobody wants to be that person.
Starting Your Sentences With an Apology
Some people simply can’t help starting every sentence with “Sorry,” by saying things like “Sorry, this might be wrong” or “Sorry, just wanted to say…” But when every idea you bring up begins with an apology, it changes how people hear you & any great points get lost behind the idea that you’re unsure of yourself. Sadly, some people use that as an excuse to cut you off or ignore what you said completely because they think you’re less than them.
Letting Interruptions Slide Again and Again
You’re halfway through explaining something and someone cuts you off, so you stop and let them talk—but then you never circle back to what you were saying. It might not seem like a big deal, but if it happens a lot, people start to expect it and you become the person who doesn’t finish their thoughts. Eventually, it makes it even easier for people to talk over you next time, which becomes a slippery slope you can’t escape from.
Overthinking Every Word in Your Emails
We’ve all been in those situations where we rewrite an email ten times just to make sure it doesn’t sound too blunt—if that happens too often, then it might be time to pause. It’s especially a problem if you constantly soften your language to avoid upsetting anyone, because people start noticing when you’re overly careful. They might take advantage of that and use it as an opening to put stuff on your plate or twist your words when it suits them.
Waiting Too Long to Call Out Weird Comments
You might hear someone make a comment about you that’s obviously shady and you think about saying something, but you wait since you’d rather give them the benefit of the doubt. Then it happens again. And again. By the time you decide to speak up, it’s already a pattern—the longer you take to call them out, the more confident they get that you’re not going to push back. It’s not so easy to stop these comments or get people to take you seriously when it’s happened a few times.
Always Agreeing With the Loudest Voice in the Room
You always nod along to any strong opinions people have—even though you don’t fully agree with them—and this sends a message to your coworkers. They’ll notice that you never have a take of your own, although you might think it’s easier than disagreeing. Others will start to treat you like a tagalong instead of a teammate, which could make you an easy target when things go wrong.
Acting Like You Don’t Care About Credit
Constantly saying stuff like, “It’s no big deal,” or “I don’t care who gets credit,” when you’ve clearly done the heavy lifting will make people start believing you—and not in a respectful way. They’ll stop including your name in updates and will start taking your work & passing it off as part of the group, even though you were just trying not to brag. Claim your work, or else other people will do it for you.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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