There are quite a few things that women keep to themselves, but they really shouldn’t, because guys would benefit a lot from knowing about them.
Before she even sits down
It starts as soon as she walks into a place. Almost immediately, women do a quick scan of the room to see where the door is, where the bathroom is, any signs of visible danger, all of it. It sounds like a lot, but women tend to do it without even thinking.
Unfortunately, they have to perform these safety checks constantly because they can’t take anything for granted, no matter how non-threatening a person or situation might seem. Guys should know about these and not get offended when a woman’s safety comes first.
Two words doing heavy lifting
So many guys misinterpret what a woman means when she says, ‘I’m fine.’ They often take it as her being mad or dismissive, but the truth is, she sometimes says it because they don’t want to escalate the situation further. They don’t have the energy for it.
Guys should understand that she’s trying to stop an argument from arising when she says it, rather than trying to annoy him. It’s a sign to slow down. It’s a sign to look at her and see whether her words actually match her face.
Not exactly a small thing
Period pain. It’s something most guys have heard of, yes, but they don’t actually understand the problems it causes and how severe it actually is. It might be cramps and a bad mood for some women, it might be nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, and back pain for others.
It’s not like guys need to know every single symptom, that’d just be unrealistic. However, guys should know what ‘period pain’ actually involves and quit acting like it’s a stomachache. It’s so much more than that.
A softer landing
A lot of guys notice that women tend to use phrases like ‘Maybe we could’ or ‘I was just wondering,’ but they assume women are unsure. They’re not. They’re actually hedging because society teaches them that they’ve got to cushion their opinions.
It doesn’t matter that they might be an expert, and it doesn’t matter that their opinion might be perfectly valid. Society teaches women not to be direct, so many women adjust their language to fit. Guys should know that these women aren’t necessarily as uncertain as they seem.
Sometimes the answer isn’t the point
One of the biggest things guys don’t understand is how women talk about their problems. When a woman shares her issues, she might not necessarily be asking for a solution, and she may just be letting you into her life. She could already have an idea of what to do.
But so many guys respond by coming up with fixes when they’re not asked for them. Men should know that that’s not what women want, and the secret here is to let her finish talking instead. What a concept.
Someone has to stay calm
It’s a sad fact that a lot of women are taught to be responsible for a guy’s feelings. They’re expected to laugh when things get awkward and explain someone’s bad mood, just because of their gender. Guys mistake it for them being easygoing. That’s not always true.
She’s doing a kind of emotional cleanup that’s really not fair, and it’s about time that guys picked up on that fact. They should know that women sometimes feel like they can’t talk honestly because of their gender.
Quiet isn’t always peace
Peace at last. That’s what some guys think to themselves when a woman stops arguing with them, as they genuinely believe the situation’s resolved. Or is it? The truth is, some women stop talking during an argument because they’ve already emotionally checked out of it all.
They’re tired of sharing the same concern over and over that they just shut down. It’d be really useful for guys to know that. They shouldn’t mistake silence for compliance because, really, she might not be feeling anything of the sort.
‘No’ has a script
Rejecting a man comes with certain expectations for women. They’re supposed to smile enough, while also not sounding too harsh and giving a good ‘excuse.’ It’s a lot. Sadly, women have been taught the script and how to use it.
Guys would be better off if they knew about it. They should know that ‘no’ doesn’t mean flirting and a polite excuse doesn’t equal an invitation for negotiation. They’re not interested, simple as that.
Warmth can be armor
A woman’s reactions aren’t always how they seem, either. She might be laughing and keeping her voice light, but really, she might not be feeling any of those things. She’s been told she can’t be cold towards a guy, so she acts a lot warmer than she really is.
Men don’t realize that the secret to her friendliness is that she’s sometimes not allowed to be as direct as she wants. It could even be a matter of her safety.
Nice has a receipt
Nice guys are not usually nice guys, and women recognize that pretty quickly. They can see through the fake smiles and helpful favors that these guys do, just to get something from the woman. Guys think they’re being smart.
But secretly, most women know exactly what these guys are doing, and they see they’ve added terms to their kindness. It’s not like every nice guy is like that. But enough of them do it that women have taken notice.
The stress label comes fast
A woman could talk to a doctor about her pain, but what would be the point? They often get their symptoms brushed off as stress or something related to their menstrual cycle. That could be part of the issue, of course, but it shouldn’t be the first assumption.
Most guys don’t know the secret behind why women often go to appointments so prepared, with notes, dates, photos, and a speech ready. It’s because they’re used to not being taken seriously.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
