First dates are already awkward enough, but then there are some guys who seem determined to turn dinner into a pitch or a therapy session, and it really bugs some women.
A little too polished
As soon as some guys sit down, they start treating the date like an interview. They talk about their job and promotion, as well as the marathon that they’re training for. It’s not bad to talk about your achievements because, yes, ambition can seriously be attractive.
The issue comes when you make a first date feel like a résumé pitch. Women go on dates to meet a person and get to know them, not their LinkedIn profile. Guys who behave like this immediately give women the ick.
Too much, too soon
He’s never felt like this around anyone else. That’s what he tells her as soon as he’s met her, and maybe he genuinely means it. But it’s too much for a first date because you don’t even know the other person yet.
Jumping ahead to the moment when you know each other well? That’s never going to go down well. In fact, it comes off as a little creepy, and most women don’t want to be around a guy trying to force instant intimacy. Â
A tiny test hiding in plain sight
‘Are you low-maintenance?’ The question might seem harmless, and he might dress it up by asking her whether she ‘likes drama’ or something. It’s nowhere near as playful as it seems. The truth is, he’s checking her boundaries to see how much she’ll tolerate from him.
A lot of women immediately get turned off when they hear this question because it’s a sign that he’s going to put very little effort into the relationship. He’s hoping she’s low-maintenance so he can get away with anything he wants. Not exactly charming behavior, is it?
Cold is not a personality
Emotional unavailability is never a good thing. It doesn’t make you mysterious, either. Still, some guys seem to talk about it like it’s a fun fact, and they’ll tell women on a first date that they ‘don’t do feelings’ or that they’re ‘hard to read.’ It’s an immediate red flag.
There’s nothing wrong with honesty, and most women understand that, too. Their issue is with guys who are aware of their flaws and do nothing to try to fix them.
Smoke without a fire
That’s not all for mysteries, as some guys seem determined to do anything to avoid answering a question. Ask him what he does, and he’ll say a little bit of everything. Even saying where he’s from is apparently a long story.
Trying so hard to seem mysterious is annoying, and vagueness like that only works when there’s something real behind it. Women don’t like having to chase basic information from a guy. They’re unlikely to go on a second date with a guy like that.
Playing detective too early
We’ve all got a type, that’s essentially a fact. That doesn’t mean you should try guessing hers on a first date. Doesn’t matter that you might think you’re having fun, she’s not going to appreciate you putting her into a box.Â
It’s also way too forward for a first date because you barely know her at that stage. What gives you the right to be making assumptions about her personal life and dating history? Stick to the safe topics unless she says otherwise.
No room to breathe
Little pauses are a natural part of conversation, even on first dates, but some guys fail to understand that. They’ll panic and rush to fill every silence with a question or joke, and that makes a lot of women uncomfortable.
They don’t want to be around guys who can’t handle any silence. It’s okay to be quiet sometimes because, really, you might be thinking about something. That’s fine. A pause isn’t a sign of disaster, but trying to eliminate every one certainly is.
One more thing to look at
Most guys know that they shouldn’t sit looking at their phone on a date, and that’s not the issue here. The problem is when he gets out his phone for ‘just a second’ to show her something. It might be a meme first, then it’s vacation pics, and then a video that doesn’t seem to end.
It’s okay to want to show off some memories. But spending half the date showing things on your phone? That’s something else because it forces the woman to sit there, giving fake smiles and laughs. She wants a conversation of actual substance, you know.
The medal nobody asked for
Being respectful is always a good thing, don’t get us wrong there, but it’s one of the most basic ‘achievements’ out there. So what if he doesn’t pressure women? So what if he listens? That’s what every guy should be doing.
It’s irritating for women when some guys act like they deserve praise for doing basic things like that, although not because they hate the kindness. They just don’t want to be with guys who think they should be rewarded for it.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
