In the age of social media, it’s not uncommon to find discussions that shed light on important life experiences and the impact they have on people. Recently, a thread on the topic of “the biggest mistakes dads make with their daughters” gained significant attention, with many users sharing their heartfelt stories and insights. It’s an issue that resonates with so many, and it’s important for fathers to understand how their actions can shape their daughters’ lives. Let’s dive into the conversation and explore some of the key points that emerged.
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#1 Not Being Present
“The one mistake my dad made was not really being present. a lot of the memories I have of him are him watching tv or being on the computer and not having time to play with me, he always said he’s too tired or he’ll come play later but then he never did. So, since we never really bonded when I was little, we weren’t all that close as I grew older either.”
Many users agree that one of the most significant mistakes dads make is not being fully present in their daughters’ lives. Often, this involves being physically present but emotionally distant. Whether it’s constantly being engrossed in work or glued to the TV, failing to spend quality time can create a distance that can last into adulthood.
#2 Mocking Big Feelings
“Making fun when your small daughter is having big feelings. I got so furiously frustrated when my parents wouldn’t listen to what I was trying to tell them and my dad just loooooved to mock my crying or squeaky “upset” voice back at me. It made me so f***** hurt and angry to not only be ignored and patronized, but actively MOCKED when I tried to communicate.”
For some, an unforgettable mistake is making fun of their daughters when they’re experiencing strong emotions. Some users suggested that being belittled or mocked when trying to communicate their feelings can be deeply hurtful. This can leave lasting scars, making daughters hesitant to open up in the future.
#3 Gendered Expectations
“Expecting different things from their daughters than their sons, especially when it comes to household chores. Like, Brother mows the lawn once a week but Sister has to do all the dishes, sweep the floors, and fold the laundry every day.”
Gender-based expectations are another concern that some users brought up. It’s essential to treat sons and daughters equally when it comes to household chores and responsibilities. Many pointed out that daughters shouldn’t be expected to carry a heavier load while their brothers enjoy lighter expectations.
#4 Poor Treatment
“Treating women poorly. Giving different rules because you’re a girl. Leaving and thinking their daughters don’t want or need your attention anymore. Not having actual conversations with them.”
Treating daughters poorly or imposing different rules based on their gender is a common misstep. Some dads leave, thinking their daughters don’t need their attention anymore. Failing to have meaningful conversations can result in shallow relationships.
#5 Lack of Compliments
“My dad didn’t do any of the stereotypical mistakes. But as a fully grown woman, I can now look back and see how my dad never complimented me. He never called me beautiful, or intelligent, or talented, or kind, or anything. And I was. I was a lovely, smart, motivated, talented kid. But I was deeply insecure. I think a little encouragement from love would’ve done me so much good.”
A dad’s failure to acknowledge their daughter’s beauty, intelligence, or talents can lead to deep insecurities. Encouragement and love can go a long way in building a daughter’s self-esteem.
#6 Financial Presence Only
“Being present only financially.”
Being present only financially is another mistake pointed out by several users. While providing for your child is important, emotional support and quality time are equally valuable.
#7 Overloading Your Daughter
“Expecting your daughter to do all the (physical and mental) labor your wife does when your wife is not around.”
Expecting your daughter to take on all the responsibilities when your wife isn’t around can lead to stress and overwhelm. Balance is key to a healthy family dynamic.
#8 Lack of Accountability
“Not apologizing or taking accountability for making mistakes, everything was always everyone else’s fault, which means we now have a surface level relationship because he could never be open or self-reflective.”
Not apologizing or taking accountability for mistakes can hinder the growth of a meaningful relationship. Many users expressed how they now have surface-level relationships with their fathers because of this.
#9 Neglecting Health and Finances
“My dad never prioritized his health or his finances adequately. He passed from a heart attack and left a massive amount of debt behind. I’ll miss him every day and always wonder why he did things the way he did.”
Failing to prioritize health and finances is a mistake that can have lifelong consequences. As one user shared, it’s essential for dads to set a good example for their children in these aspects.
#10 Being Overprotective
“Being too overprotective. It has the opposite effect. Your daughter will be so scared of your overreaction that if something actually happens, she’ll be hesitant to tell you.”
Surprisingly, being overprotective can backfire. Daughters might be hesitant to share their concerns if they fear an exaggerated reaction from their fathers. Building trust and open communication is crucial.
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