Visiting the U.S. & grabbing a bite to eat is quite confusing for people from overseas and it’s all because of our dining habits! For example, huge glasses filled with ice & endless coffee refills are the norm here—but these customs aren’t everywhere. Here are twelve American table manners that confuse people from abroad. You’ll be surprised at the things so many people aren’t used to.
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Splitting the Check
It’s common for everyone to pay for their own meal in America so no one gets stuck covering the whole bill, which is why the server asks right off the bat if you’d like separate checks. But people in other countries might be confused because they often have just one person taking care of the tab, or at least the server waits to ask later. Americans often ask to split the check without a second thought which catches many visitors off guard.
Iced Water at Meals
As soon as you sit down at a restaurant, you’ll probably get a big glass of water filled to the brim with ice cubes, even if it’s the dead of winter. People in other countries are used to the water being served at room temperature so it’s quite a surprise for them—especially since they’ll get ice-cold water without asking. Servers also keep refilling your glass without you even asking and that’s not the norm in many other places.
Eating Salad as a Starter
It’s common for us to serve salads at the very start of a meal and that’s why restaurants bring out a bowl of greens & dressing before the main course arrives. But that’s surprising for many people from other countries because salads often come after the main dish—it’s a switch in order that’s rather unusual. In some cases, servers might clear away your salad plate before bringing out your entree.
Using a Salad Fork
Speaking of salads, at many American dining tables, you’ll see two forks—a big one & a smaller one—and the smaller one is meant for your salad. It’s usually placed next to the dinner fork & has slightly wider prongs but people visiting from abroad might mistake it for a dessert fork. Of course, not everyone follows this utensil rule but fancier restaurants often set it out anyway.
Putting the Napkin on the Lap Immediately
We also tend to place our napkins on our laps in America as soon as we sit down, although people in other countries often wait for the host to signal or until the food arrives. Yet most Americans consider it polite to be ready for any spills right from the start so we’ll do it without any prompting. It’s a slightly more rushed tradition for those who live outside of America.
Seasoning Before Tasting
It’s not unusual for us to start shaking salt & pepper as soon as it arrives, without even taking a bite first—we might even reach for the hot sauce right away! That’s quite strange for people from other countries because they don’t understand why someone would change the dish before tasting it. But here, people often assume that their food needs a little something extra and it’s completely normal to do so.
Taking Food Home in a Box
Anyone who can’t finish their meal at an American restaurant will likely ask for a to-go box and the majority of places have takeout containers ready to hand out. As such, you’ll see people packing up half a sandwich or extra pasta to enjoy later at home—but that’s not the norm in other places. They expect you to clean your plate and for them, having any leftovers at all is a sign of rudeness.
Continuous Coffee Refills
At American diners & cafes, servers often walk around with a pot of coffee and they’re ready to top up your cup whenever it’s getting low—best of all, refills are usually free. You’ll end up sipping several cups without paying extra, although that’s quite different from places in Europe, for example. Free refills are much more limited there & each cup often costs money so this endless coffee is a pleasant surprise for them.
Free Bread or Chips at the Table
Likewise, many American restaurants have a basket of free bread, rolls or chips on your table—even before you order—and servers usually keep refilling it until you tell them to stop. Some people fill up on bread or chips & find they’re less hungry when their meal comes, while others just enjoy the extra treat at no cost. However, lots of countries charge for these snacks and that’s why visitors from these places are surprised to see them on their tables.
Requesting Menu Substitutions
Lots of us feel comfortable tweaking our meals when ordering and we might ask to swap fries for a salad or request extra sauce without worrying about extra fees. You’re able to customize your dishes, adding or removing ingredients as you like—unlike many other places where the menu is set in stone. Servers here usually accommodate these requests without hesitation and it’s not unusual to see a dish arrive looking a bit different from its description.
Clearing Plates While Others Are Still Eating
Many servers will start clearing away plates as soon as someone finishes eating in America, and they rarely wait until everyone is done. But plates stay until the end of the meal in many other countries so such a habit seems rushed to them. Lots of visitors get confused about why their friend’s plate has vanished while they’re still enjoying their food.
Offering a Dessert Menu Right After the Entrée
Once you’ve finished your main course, the server will bring over the dessert menu—they may even do it while plates are still on the table. They’ll give you a tray of sweets to tempt you right away because it’s normal here to start dessert without much of a break. But the pace of eating is different in other countries and they have more leisurely meals with pauses between courses.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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