Four Kids, Zero Help: A Story of Marriage and Motherhood

4 young kids / children sitting on the bed, looking into the camera and smiling.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership between two individuals who share a life together, support each other and help each other through life’s ups and downs.

However, for some couples, this is not always the case.

A recent social media post by a 24-year-old mother of four children, two sets of twins, has sparked a debate online after she shared her struggles of being a full-time working mother with a husband who provides zero help.

The post explains how the husband constantly complains about the house not being up to his standards, despite the mother working from home, taking care of four children under the age of six, cooking meals, and cleaning the house full-time.

The husband, who works in physical labor, believes that his wife has an easier job and thus should take care of all the chores and the children by herself.

He further complains that he wants to sleep or hang out with friends when he has time off and cannot help around the house.

After putting the children to bed one night, OP made the decision to leave a note for her husband, informing him that she would be spending the night out with her friends. However, her one night turned into a weekend of merrymaking with her friends.

The next morning, her husband bombarded her with phone calls and texts. He was seething with anger and used foul language, leaving OP’s friends aghast when they overheard the conversation. They quickly intervened, hanging up the phone and urging her to mute it.

Initially, OP planned to return home that same day. However, her friends convinced her to stay longer, and they planned a day of fun activities together.

When she finally returned home, the scene that awaited her was a complete disaster. The kitchen was cluttered with dirty dishes, garbage littered the house, and the floors were sticky.

Her husband was fuming when she arrived, and he had already packed his bags. He gave her the cold shoulder and left without saying much, informing her through text that he was staying at his mother’s place.

Does the Mother Have 4 or 5 Children?

The majority of the Reddit community expressed their sympathy and support for the mother, applauding her for being a full-time working mother of four children and managing the household chores alone.

They argued that the husband’s behavior was unacceptable, and he should have been more supportive of his wife instead of constantly criticizing her.

One commenter, DoraTheUrbanExplorer, was particularly supportive of the mother and advised her to leave the marriage:

“You work full time, take care of 4 kids under 6, cook, and keep the house clean FULL TIME? He expects to come home to a home-cooked meal? Sleep when he’s home? Hang out with his friends?

“This is not a marriage, it’s a joke. He is providing you 0 support and then whining when asked to help at all or when things aren’t perfect.

“It doesn’t matter if your job is easier or not (it’s probably not easier, just different); he’s not entitled to mooch off of you. Honey, forget this. You can do it on your own.”

Another user, TotallyNotARocket, called the husband’s behavior archaic and said he belonged in the Stone Age.

“What is this, the 60s? Wait, no. Even my grandfather didn’t do this. OP’s husband belongs in the freaking stone age…”

Other users, such as Longjumping-Tone4895, pointed out that the mother had five children, not four:

“Correction. She has 5 kids. 4 under 6, and the full sized one. I agree though she needs to really consider this marriage. I hope she took pictures of the state the house was in. Will be useful when it comes to a custody agreement.”

One user, crystallz2000, advised the mother to contact a lawyer and follow their instructions on how to get out of the marriage.

“OP, you’d be better off as a single mom. Have your friends help with the kids while he’s away, get into a lawyer, follow what the lawyer says to do, and get out of this situation. You deserve better. He can stay with his mommy and see how fast she gets tired of doing all the cooking and cleaning during “his” time with the kids.”

Another user, PublicThis, was in awe of the mother and praised her for being a remarkable mother, wife, and friend.

“I am in literal awe of this woman. To have 4 children (well, 5 basically,) a job, manage a house, cook meals – probably maintain the mental load – at 24????? It sounds like she has a good social life, too.

“OP, you sound amazing. I’m sure you would have an amazing support network if you make the (best) choice of ditching the dead weight so you can continue to be amazing.”

Finally, Ninja-Storyteller argued that although physical labor could be challenging, it does not absolve anyone of their parenting responsibilities.

“Physical Labor IS usually backbreaking, utterly miserable work. But it does NOT absolve anyone of their parenting responsibilities. If the job is wrecking him so bad he can’t be an equal adult and father in the home, he needs to find another job that works better for him and his family.”

The Verdict: A Mother’s Struggle to Balance Family and Work

What’s clear from the ocean of commenters is that the OP is not in the wrong for wanting a break from the endless responsibilities of being a parent and a homemaker, especially given that she’s also working full-time.

It’s unfair of the husband to expect her to handle everything independently and to berate her for wanting a night out with friends.

It’s even more unfair that he abandoned his parental responsibilities and left the house in a terrible state, showing that he couldn’t care for his children for a mere weekend.

It’s also worth noting that many commenters expressed concern for the OP’s mental and emotional well-being.

Juggling so many responsibilities at such a young age can take a toll on anyone, and she needs to have a support system that can help her cope.

While it’s possible that the husband could be a part of that support system, it’s clear that he’s not currently fulfilling that role.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think OP from the social media post was in the wrong?

Featured Image Credit: alebloshka /

This article originally appeared on Ash & Pri.

Like our content? Be sure to follow us.

DISCLOSURE: The post may contain affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase using these links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. You can read our affiliate disclosure in our privacy policy. This site is not intending to provide financial advice. This is for entertainment only.

Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.