Do you ever wonder if people get tired or exhausted after hanging out with you? Sometimes, we can have habits that bother or overwhelm others, without even noticing. We may not be aware of these habits, but they do impact our relationships in the long run. A psychologist has shared some common clues that could indicate that you are a draining presence to be around. Knowing these signs can help you make your interactions be a more positive, pleasurable experience for everyone.
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You Always Talk About Yourself
If all of the conversations revolve around you, others may find it draining. It’s easy to talk about your stories and experiences, but if you never ask about anyone else, others might feel they’re unimportant. Talking is about communicating with each other. People want to be heard and appreciated, too. Watch how often you turn the conversation around on yourself. Even a quick, “How was your day?” or “What do you think?” can make all the difference.
You Complain All the Time
It’s normal to vent when something doesn’t work out, but constantly complaining tends to push people away. If every conversation is full of issues and negativity, people will shy away from you. It’s not that people don’t care – it’s simply that they’re exhausted from hearing about every single problem in your life (without solutions!). Try incorporating some good news or appreciating the good in your life. It can make a conversation more balanced and enjoyable.
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You Never Respect Boundaries
All people have boundaries, if you do not know them, then you’re hard to hang out with. When people say they’re busy or won’t speak on a subject, asking for more can build tension. For instance, if a friend tells you that they want some alone time, respect that instead of rushing to join them. Being aware of boundaries demonstrates you care about their needs – not just your own.
You’re Too Negative
Negativity can drain the energy out of any situation. If you keep looking to the dark side, or reject other people’s suggestions, or only think about problems, you come across as grumpy. For instance, if they come up with good news and you immediately point out all the bad things, that ruins their excitement. Look for the good in everything and share it with everyone else. A little hope is always better.
You Rarely Show Gratitude
If you don’t give people credit or recognize their work, they may feel you’re taking them for granted. Gratitude is a small act that has a big impact. For example, if a friend helps you but you don’t tell them thanks, they might not feel appreciated. Always remember to say thank you even for a little something. It shows that you value their time and energy.
You Interrupt Too Much
Interrupting someone while they’re talking frustrates them. It makes it seem like your opinion matters more than theirs. This behavior makes talking seem one-sided. Rather, try listening first and then respond. People notice when you take the time to hear them out, and it makes them feel respected.
You Always Need Attention
When you constantly demand attention, people around you may find this annoying. For instance, if you take center stage in all of the group meetings or constantly try to get validation, others may feel that you’re overshadowing them. It’s okay to want attention, but balance is key. Allow others a turn too.
You Bring Drama Everywhere
If arguments and stress always follow you, you may be generating unneeded drama. For example, if little disagreements escalate into big conflicts, people will feel uncomfortable around you. If you learn to let go of these little problems and approach conflicts calmly, then you can reduce the stress you bring to situations.
You Don’t Apologize When You’re Wrong
Refusing to admit when you’re wrong can frustrate people. No one’s perfect, and there will be lapses, but admitting it makes you mature. For instance, if you offend somebody and then dismiss it, they will feel disrespected. A simple apology is often all that’s required to salvage relationships.
You Always Expect Help Without Offering It
Relationships need to be reciprocal – if you always ask for help & never provide, people feel you are using them. If, for instance, you always borrow money or beg for favors, and never return them, things become imbalanced. Show appreciation by helping out when you can or even just saying thank you.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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