Gaslighting is really difficult to identify. It’s stealthy, and at times feels like you’re losing your footing. If you have ever had an interaction where you came away bewildered or self-conscious, you could have been dealing with a gaslighter.
They use phrases that get your mind all confused and you start to wonder if this is true. This wears you down and makes you doubt everything over time.
You must know what to look for. On this list, we’ll dissect some of the more toxic phrases that gaslighters employ, so you can guard yourself and recognize their traps.
“You’re Being Too Sensitive”
The gaslighter will say this to you in an attempt to make you feel that what you’re feeling isn’t important, that your reaction is not legitimate. But all they’re doing is attempting to deny responsibility for what they’ve done.
If they describe you as sensitive, it skews attention away from their behavior and makes you question your emotions. Over time, this can make you start questioning yourself more and more.
“That Never Happened”
This is classic gaslighting. They reject what you know happened and you try to reevaluate your own recall. Maybe you begin to believe that you conjured it up or misunderstood.
This denial messes with your brain and after a while you may no longer believe your memory of things. Gaslighters leverage this to remain in control of the story and make you feel like you have no idea what’s real or not.
“You’re Crazy”
It’s one of the most toxic things that can be done by a gaslighter. It’s meant to destroy your self-assurance.
The more they repeat it, the more you start to think it. You’ll just start to feel like you can’t be trusted and that’s exactly what they want. And the more self-doubt you have, the more control they have over you.
“You’re Imagining Things”
They are laying the seeds of mistrust in your mind when they say you’re imagining things. They want you to think you’re having issues where there are none.
It’s a way of getting you to stop questioning them or pointing out where they’ve been wrong. You start to suspect that you are really dreaming things up. This is just another one of the devices gaslighters are using to fool people.
“You’re Overthinking This”
The phrase ignores your worries completely. And if the gaslighter says you’re overthinking, that’s effectively them telling you your troubles don’t count.
It’s a way to forget any of the problems you raise and make it seem like you’re the problem. But most of the time you are not even thinking too much. You’re just interpreting what you’re seeing, and they don’t want you to.
“Everyone Agrees With Me”
When gaslighters tell you that everyone else is on their side, they make it sound as if you are the only problem. This is a strategy to shut you down and make it appear like no one would accept you even if you spoke up.
In fact, they’re lying, but by pretending people are agreeing with them, you begin to question yourself further. It’s a way to present a false majority opinion that pushes you to rethink.
“You’re Just Being Dramatic”
They tell you you are dramatic because that’s the way they make your feelings seem excessive or petty. It’s an excuse to insult your emotions and make you feel like you’re building a mountain out of a hill.
But your emotions are real and true. Gaslighters do this in order to persuade you to rethink your response, and thus to continue evading blame.
“I Never Said That”
Refuting what they have said, when you do remember exactly what they said, is their tactic to make you think you are delusional. Gaslighters will reframe history for their own purposes.
And it makes you wonder if you really heard what you believed you heard. This denial wears you down over time and leaves you not believing yourself, which is what they want.
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